Pillow Talk
by teno-hikari
Summary: Shinn was always able to find comfort in the arms of his lover... but unknown to him, that most precious person happens to be the pilot of Freedom Shinn x Kira yaoi, shounen ai.
1. Prologue

**Title: Pillow Talk (Prologue)**  
**Author:** Tenohikari   
**Betad by:** Nevermore Amaya   
**Fandom:** Gundam Seed Destiny   
**Pairing:** KiraxShinn (um... yay for non-existent pairings)  
**Rating:** PG (rating may go up for future chapters) 

Warning: A little AU-ish but there are spoilers for the series thus far and shounen ai/yaoi themed if you haven't gotten that from that pairing. If the site of two male fictional characters together makes you cringe and want to write me flame reviews based on the "OMG Kira and Shinn are not gay for each other because I said so!" - please hit the back button on your browser now.

**---------------------------**

**Prologue**

Despite the fact that it was only four o'clock in the morning, Shinn Asuka was awake. Ever since he had helped Stellar escape, his sleeping pattern had been very irregular. Sometimes he slept normally, but often nightmares of losing the ones he swore to protect, as well as everything that could have been and still could be, would wake him.

Tonight wasn't one of those awful nights. It was worse. He couldn't even manage to fall asleep out of fear that those nightmares would be much worse this time after Stellar's near escape from death.

But much to his surprise and relief, he had recently been reunited with that one person capable of banishing the shadows that threatened to pull him under. That one precious person who could always alleviate his pain without even knowing it.

"Kira?"

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

"Oi, Kira?"

Poke.

"Are you awake?"

Poke.

At first only a muffled groan answered him back. Half a minute of poking later, the brunette in question slowly lifted his head from a pillow with a yawn. Violet eyes, despite still being half closed from fatigue, gazed back at the speaker, shadowed with concern.

"What's wrong, Shinn? Bad dream?"

It wouldn't have been unusual; Kira knew the younger coordinator had suffered much from this war. He had heard the crimson-eyed boy cry out in his sleep several times since they'd been together; calling out the names of loved ones and comrades with tears clinging to his eyelashes. However, much to Kira's relief Shinn shook his head to indicate he wasn't suffering from another nightmare.

"I... just can't sleep."

Insomnia could be so much worse. The older teenager just had to stifle a groan as he sat up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. As much as he liked staying up late with his lover, this was starting to happen much too often. Also, when it was this late - or early, he could see the faint pink hue lighting up the predawn sky - Shinn could get very talkative. Of course Kira would strain himself to stay awake and make an attempt at conversation, but often he kept his mouth shut. He was too worried his lack of sleep would cause his tongue to slip and reveal things he knew Shinn wasn't ready to hear yet.

"Okay, I'll go get you some water."

He really wished the hotel they were staying at offered warm milk - just so he could put the younger boy to sleep before the uncomfortable questions came up. But before he could even get out of bed, a pale hand shot out and tugged at the sleeve of his t-shirt.

"Just stay with me," the young ZAFT pilot gazed back at him with those large pleading ruby eyes, "please?"

He'd have to be some cruel unfeeling bastard to turn that look down. With a small sigh he moved back to his spot and wrapped a tanned arm around his lover's thin shoulders, and held him close. Gently he pulled them back to rest against propped up pillows, watching Shinn visibly relax and smile with a faint blush on his cheeks.

"Thanks."

Smiling back, he reached up and stroked messy black locks and absently traced the dark purple highlights between his fingers. "What's bothering you?"

The smile on Shinn's face now looked obviously forced. Shaking his head, he wrapped his arms around the older boy, clinging to him as if he were afraid the morning breeze would blow Kira away.

"It's nothing. I just missed you, that's all."

In return, Kira tightened his own hold around the boy lying in his arms. He had missed the other as well, and there were many nights onboard the Archangel that he dreamed of holding the boy close to him once again. Whether he was listening to Shinn's stories or his cries and moans of pleasure, Kira had always been content.

"I'm here now," he murmured softly, "there's no need to be so sullen."

"I know."

"So tell me, what's the matter?"

Instantaneously, the false smile dispersed and was replaced with an angry frown - one that Kira had believed was his lover's natural expression when they first met in Orb many months ago. Already he knew he had stirred himself into a dangerous storm.

Shinn growled, "This goddamn war...I hate it."

"I hate it too," Kira admitted softly but it seemed to have fallen on deaf ears.

"I hate the people who won't let it end."

_'No matter how beautiful the flowers are, people will blow them away again.'_

He tried to rub the small of the boy's back, in an attempt to calm him down. But it was in vain because now Shinn's hands had released him to ball up into fists. For a short moment, he knew Impulse's pilot was reliving some of his earlier battles. Shinn had thrown all caution aside and attacked first. Kira remembered the devastation that mobile suit had caused back in ORB. He would never forget that raw power that threatened to destroy them all.

At the time Kira had no idea the young man he had instantly fallen for back at the Memorial would have been the pilot of the Impulse Gundam he encountered whenever Archangel entered the battlefield. Shinn's skills were honed and exceptional, and it was difficult to believe this was the same boy who at the beach who had clumsily tripped over his own feet and landed in the brunette's outstretched arms. Kira's confusion, his disbelief, was only overshadowed by a sudden understanding that he could never bring himself to kill Shinn.

_'Even if you become a dangerous enemy I have to face in battle, and when you've grown to hate me for all this.'_

He winced suddenly when Shinn punched him in the arm.

"...Kira? Hey, are you even listening to me!"

His startled dark amethyst eyes met the other pilot's narrowed garnet ones.

"Ow... uh... sorry."

"Che. Whatever. All I was saying is that you should stay alert and be more careful."

"Eh?"

"Look I know you like your job as a photographer..."

Kira winced again, mentally this time. He hated lying and at first believed he was incapable of it. But whenever he was with the ZAFT soldier, he had no choice. Now lying was starting to become as natural to him as piloting. He'd lied to Shinn and to his own comrades, and Kira knew someday those lies were going to blow up in his face.

"...But you gotta watch your back out there," Shinn added, "stay away from those Earth Alliance people or Orb - even if some of them claim that they're neutral - you can't trust any of them."

Kira wasn't sure whether to be pleased Shinn cared so much for his wellbeing or offended that he didn't consider him - as a neutral Orb supporter - as trustworthy. It was a little weird to be praised and insulted at the same time. Even if Shinn had no idea about that latter, and hopefully never will.

"Look... I, I worry about you being out there in all the fighting," Shinn added, his burning anger gone and the familiar blush Kira found so endearing once again stained his cheeks with color. "I don't want to lose you, like I lost my family."

Reaching out he affectionately stroked his lover's cheek. "Is that what's bothering you?"

Nodding, Shinn took the hand and kissed its palm. Such a simple action made the brunette's pulse race.

"I'm just tired of seeing those I care about - even the people I'm only briefly acquainted with - die before my eyes."

"Shinn..."

"We had a new pilot on our team not too long ago. He was also member of Faith..." Kira wasn't familiar with that group, but continued to listen, "kind of weird but really friendly... the first time he launched from Minerva, the Freedom and that ship Archangel showed up...and got him killed."

Head resting against Kira's chest, the pilot of Impulse wasn't able to see his pained expression. But the guilt and hurt caused by that accusation were clearly there. If only Shinn could look up and see, would he understand?

Unlike people, death never discriminated, especially in war time. It consumed everything. The innocent and guilty. The old and the young. The rich and poor. Naturals and Coordinators. That's why it was harder to preserve life than to destroy it.

As Freedom's pilot, he had never intended to enter any battle to kill anyone. In fact, the only reason he wanted to pilot again after two years was to prevent countless lives from being lost in a nonsensical battle. Even though choices and reactions will have many repercussions, Kira knew that he and the rest of the Archangel crew had made the right one. He truly believed the road to peace was the one with the least bloodshed.

"The Freedom," Shinn spoke again, his tone heavy and menacing, "I know it's one of the most powerful Gundams out there, but if it causes anymore harm to my team mates... I'll have to destroy it."

There was a long pause as Kira searched for something to say. How could he explain without giving himself and of course the Archangel away? Finding no other option, he simply entwined his fingers with Shinn's own.

"I'm sorry."

"Huh? Why are you apologizing...?"

Shinn yawned and finally looked up, gazing sleepily at the older teen. Between his angry declaration and the gap of silence, he had just come to realize how soothing and reassuring Kira's heartbeat was. For all his fears and the churning hatred for Orb and the Earth Alliance... everything had been swept away.

That's why he loved Kira Yamato.

Again complete silence filled the small room once again, and Kira had just hoped to fall right back to sleep if it hadn't been for the flurry of emotions wreaking havoc inside him.

"Um... Shinn, about Freedom... I..."

Snore.

_'What the...!'_

Kira, who was now wide awake, stared at the sleeping boy cuddled up against him.

"When did I become your personal pillow?"

Of course there was no response, save for the youth's deep and even breathing. Out like a light. How unfair. Kira just lay there quietly and admired the sight of his lover at peace as he held him close, and bleakly wondered how long it would be before this war would tear them apart.

**---------------------------**

**Author's Notes: **All of you worship the grammatical greatness that is Amaya for beta-reading Pillow Talk.


	2. Chapter 1

**Title: Pillow Talk (Chapter 1)**  
**Author:** Tenohikari  
**Betad by:** Nevermore Amaya  
** Fandom:** Gundam Seed Destiny  
** Pairing:** Kira/Shinn (um... yay for non-existent pairings)

**Warning:** A little AU-ish but there are spoilers for the series thus far and shounen ai/yaoi themed if you haven't gotten that from that pairing. If the site of two male fictional characters together makes you cringe and want to write me flame reviews based on the "OMG Kira and Shinn are not gay for each other because I said so!" - please hit the back button on your browser now.

**-----------------------------------**

**Chapter One**

Whenever insomnia struck onboard the Archangel, Kira would find himself wandering the nearly empty corridors until out of habit his feet would lead him to the hanger. To his mobile suit. This time, however, he fought that urge and continued to circle around the battleship until he was able to sort out his thoughts and banish current anxieties. As he was nearing the mess hall again, Kira noted his lack of progress when he remembered how vehement Impulse's pilot had sounded when he had yelled at him over the radio...

_"STOP IT! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!"_

It was Shinn's voice that had made his heart leap into his throat and prevented him from taking an offensive position. Only moments ago they had been fighting together against a common enemy. Why now was Shinn turning on him in their favor? Kira winced at the memory of Impulse attacking him, driving him back before flying straight towards the massive killing machine by itself.

It was one of the moments when he felt truly afraid. Not for himself, but for Shinn who was so close to that machine that had already reduced most of Berlin to ruins. So close to being incinerated for who knows what reason. Kira then made a choice: he would not watch another person he cared for die before his eyes.

_"First, you decide. Then, you carry it through. That's the only way to accomplish anything..."_

He had taken Lacus's words to heart yet again. Decisions. Choices. For every decision made, there is an infinite number of possibilities where a decision was made differently. As much as the brunette wished he could review them all, he could not picture a world without Shinn. In that moment of choice, Kira had felt his own power rise to the surface. He had decided to save Shinn even if the younger coordinator would hate him for it afterwards.

Kira was momentarily interrupted from his brooding when Captain Amagi stepped into the hallway and conveniently blocked his path. The older man gave him a friendly smile and Kira forced his present emotions aside to return it. The smile quickly turned into a frown and Kira wondered how fractured his mask must be that even strangers could see through it.

"Is everything all right, Kira-sama?"

He was glad the Orb officers recognized him as their ruler's little brother, but Kira couldn't help but be annoyed at the honorific title. In his mind he did nothing worth being honored for. He had just recently broken his own 'no kill' rule - even though most onboard the ship said it had been necessary.

Kira shrugged a bit, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just couldn't sleep."

The Naval Captain only nodded though looked a little apologetic as if he thought he had offended Kira by the simple question. "It's just you've passed the mess hall for the fifth time tonight, the men and I were worried."

Looking over Amagi's shoulder, Kira could identify several Murasume pilots sitting their quietly. They were rather new occupants onboard the Archangel and weren't used to his midnight strolls like the rest of the crew were. He was a little surprised when one of the pilots raised up an arm and waved at him.

"Would you like to join us, Yamato-taichou?"

The teenager couldn't hide his shock this time. Back when the Archangel used to be affiliated with the Earth Alliance, way back when Strike had been his mobile suit, he had been promoted to lieutenant. He was relieved that the rank system had gone when he returned. That the people he would fight alongside with were no superiors and subordinates; but allies and most of all friends.

This time, it felt a little different... and he stared back at Amagi who chuckled at the bewildered look on his face. "Since we'll be fighting alongside each other now, I thought it would be best to give you a rank. To show that I trust you commanding my officers if needed, and they will gladly follow your orders as if they were my own."

He really wished he could close his mouth and stop gaping - where was Cagalli and her upper-cut shot when you needed her - and turned back to soldiers who cleared some space on the bench for him to sit down. This was certainly not unwelcome at all, just unexpected. Kira was used to taking orders rather than giving them, doing tasks himself rather than delegating them. But this rank was an honor even if it wasn't official, and Kira just felt his face burn with embarrassment for a moment before going over to join them.

"You all can just call me 'Kira' if you want to. So what are you guys having?" he asked as the drinks went around the table.

"Hot chocolate."

"Hot chocolate laced with kahlua!"

"Idiot! He's underage!"

Kira let out a small laugh, but downed the warm cocoa beverage anyway. A little alcohol wouldn't hurt him - Kira was pretty confident after drinking Waldfeld's triple shot mocha - he could handle anything. As he listened to the other pilots talk about previous battles and life back in their home country, Kira started to relax and let his anxieties slipped away. If only until he piloted Freedom and faced Shinn once again.

* * *

_Clack. Clack. Clack._

His fingers danced across the keyboard as he accessed the proper file that contained the compiled data of the mobile suit infamously known as The Freedom. The steady rhythmic tapping ceased as Shinn Asuka leaned forward, elbows resting against his terminal. He studied the digital footage of that mobile suit's performance, scene by scene, frame by frame - determined to find a flaw somewhere.

Yet as minutes finally stretched into hours, Shinn had to restrain himself from bashing the screen with his chair. Perfect. As much as it disgusted him to admit, his opponent was formidable. He watched for the umpteenth time as The Freedom weaved back and forth between incoming fire, dodging with ease. Its speed was remarkable and without a doubt in his mind, it had to be the strongest one on the battlefield at present.

Chewing his lower lip, Shinn analyzed his data over again - back to Freedom's first appearance back in the battle at Orb. It had enough fire-power to take out several opponents at once, so a long ranged attack was out of the question. Close combat was possible, if he could just increase Impulse's speed a little more...

Shinn was completely unaware of the door hissing open, or the sound of footsteps approaching. It was only when he felt his roommate lean forward to look over his shoulder did Shinn practically jump in his seat. Rey's blue eyes regarded him for a moment, before the blonde nodded towards the monitor.

"Have you been able to discover anything new about it?"

Shinn turned away from the pilot and glared back at 'it' and shook his head. He couldn't deny that perfection existed in virtually every aspect of that mobile suit's performance. Even Athrun was defeated by it. Yet Shinn wouldn't let himself be intimidated... and neither would Rey when the other teenager spoke up.

"Please allow me to assist."

The raven haired boy glance back at Rey who continued to stand beside him, his gaze fixated on the data displayed before them. Remembering back to when Stellar was alive and onboard the Minerva, Shinn recalled when his fellow pilot had knocked out a few guards to assist with the escape. Shinn still owed him for that and now Rey wanted to help again...

Camaraderie... Shinn nodded his head and allowed a small smile to twitch at his lips at the realization that even though he would be the only mobile suit going out to battle for awhile, he didn't have to feel like he was fighting alone.

Several minutes later, Rey spoke up quickly, much to the other's surprise. "Would you replay that last segment again, Shinn, I think I may have found something."

* * *

Having spent most of his days on a battleship like the Vesalius or the Minerva, Athrun Zala had almost grown accustomed to living under a constant threat. As soon as the alarm sounded, his instincts would kick in as he prepared for battle alongside his team mates. However, with Savior damaged beyond repair, Athrun found himself brooding more often than he normally would. 

After being reinstated back into ZAFT, the son of the former chairman had been surprised at Gilbert Dullindal's trust in him. Being a member of FAITH was a rare honor given only to a select few after all, for it allowed the freedom to act on his own decisions. However, the lightweight medal pinned to his uniform collar felt like an anchor weighing him down more than anything else.

Really what could he do in this kind of situation? Just as how it was two years ago, Athrun Zala could feel the storm brewing ever since his childhood friend entered the fray and now it was going to be unleashed. He remembered listening to the cheers for Dullindal's name on the broadcast not too long ago, and how much they sounded like waves ready to crash against the shore and wash everything away. The Blue Cosmos. The Earth Forces. Orb. The Archangel. Cagalli. Kira...

A flurry of emotions was wreaking havoc inside him as he approached Shinn and Rey's quarters. He paused for a moment as he faced the closed door, counting several heartbeats, as Athrun wondered what he was should say. What could he say to that reckless subordinate who barely listened to his orders in the past? He sighed quietly to himself, raising up a hand to his eye level and remembering lashing out at Shinn for not listening to orders. Would the pilot of Impulse listen to him now?

A knock at the door caused Rey to turn his gaze away from the screen for a moment and his lips thinned in displeasure when he heard the voice coming from behind it.

"Shinn? It's Athrun, I'm coming in."

Normally, whether he liked the person or not, Rey would stop and salute a higher ranking officer as military custom required; but instead he turned his attention back to the monitor once more. Both ZAFT pilots ignored their senior as he approached to stand beside them. From the corner of his eye, Rey watched the older teen's shocked facial expression when he saw the battle footage of the Freedom. What seemed to disturb Athrun more, was how focused Shinn was in his examination.

In all the mission briefings they've had together, he's never seen Shinn like this. So calm and focused despite the obvious exhilaration pumping through his veins. Obsession. Athrun remembered it well from the time Yzak Jule was fixated on destroying the Strike, and now it was happening all over again.

_Kira..._

He reached over and grasped Shinn's shoulder, forcing the two boys to turn and face him. "Shinn, Rey, what in the world do you think you're doing?"

The ruby-eyed coordinator shot him an irritated glare at the disturbance as well as the hysteria in Athrun's tone. "What?" when Athrun didn't bother to remove his hand from his person, Shinn turned back to the panel.

"I'm going through a battle simulation with the Freedom," he answered, shrugging away from the other's grasp. "What do you want?"

Emerald eyes widened in disbelief as Athrun stepped around the chair so that he wasn't talking to Shinn's back.

"Why are you doing this?"

Shinn didn't bother to meet the Faith soldier's furious stare, he was so fixated on Freedom's maneuvering capabilities that he didn't even blink in the span of an entire minute. But he knew better than to ignore Athrun Zala. He also wanted to let the older teenager that he was serious about this... dead serious.

"Because he's strong," Shinn admitted, "and as far as I know the Freedom is the most capable Mobile Suit out there. In that case, I think it would be helpful to train with it as an opponent." The pilot of Impulse glanced in Athrun's direction for a moment to see that his glare did not die down. "Wouldn't it be a serious problem if something happened and there wasn't anyone in ZAFT who could defeat that thing?"

He could hear what other was saying; but with the blood pounding in his ears, all Athrun could picture was Kira. His best friend dying before his eyes just like Rusty, Nicol, Miguel, and his mother had while all he - the former "ZAFT Ace" - could do was watch. His hand shot out again, grabbing the boy's arm, shouting his name as he pulled him up and out of his seat.

Shinn pulled his arm back, now scowling directly at Athrun. "What's your problem!"

Before blows could be exchanged, Rey decided to intervene this time and stepped forward as the two dark haired boys glared darkly at one another. "Both of you, settle down and back off," he managed to say without making it a direct order as he moved between them and faced the older pilot.

"Athrun, he's right," Rey informed him while Shinn was glowering over the blonde's shoulder. "Indeed, the Freedom is powerful but threatening because the side it belongs to isn't allied with our forces. We have no knowledge of their agenda; therefore trust at this moment is impossible."

He took a moment to regard the former pilot of Savior to make an objection. When receiving none - except for Athrun's torn expression - Rey continued, "Even if you fought alongside the Freedom, what Shinn had implied is a a possibility that we - as ZAFT soldiers - need to prepare for."

_'If you don't shoot, you'll find yourself being the one shot down.'_

For a brief instant Athrun almost pictured the Rau Le Creuset standing before him. His deceased commanding officer had given him that advice long ago, when the Strike had been a threat. As much as he would like to believe that the circumstances were different... he couldn't. Kira was in the same position then as he was now: in the line of fire.

_'If you don't shoot...'_

"But Kira isn't the enemy!"

The outburst seemed to startle him more than it did the other two in the room. This was the second time he uttered Kira's name before ones who would most likely see him as an enemy despite being a Coordinator himself. With the Chairman, Athrun wasn't worried - but with these two... who knew what would happen. As he mentally slapped himself for the slip, Athrun failed to see Shinn's startled reaction to the mention of the name.

"What?" Shinn questioned in cold disbelief as he composed himself outwardly. But inside, his rage burned as hot as ever. 'Kira' was the name that belonged to his precious person, a person who he believed was as far from Berlin as possible. If he didn't already have a personal grudge against the pilot of the Freedom, he did now.

Once again Rey intervened, before his teammate could lunge at Athrun and make demands of his own.

"Why do you say that?" he asked. "That mobile suit attacked our vessel at Dardanelles and as a result, Heine was a casualty. Also, weren't you also defeated by it?"

Savior's wreckage floating in the sea came back to Athrun, as well as the hurt and humiliation he felt afterwards.

"Although it's up to our superiors to determine who we fight against," Rey continued almost mercilessly, "We can't decide for sure if the side Freedom fights for is friend or foe. Therefore, I believe we should be prepared to fight... whoever our enemy maybe."

His words seemed to calm the young men down and he decided to change tactics. He didn't want Athrun to think he was being ganged up on. Despite the difference in options, they were still comrades after all. With practiced obedience and civility, Rey looked over to present member of Faith thoughtfully, "If possible, we'd like to get some advice from you based on your past experiences, Athrun."

Shinn after recovering from his outburst and shoving the 'name' matter out of his mind for the time being, sat back down in his seat. Attention focused on the enemy mobile suit again. "It's alright, Rey," he said before Athrun could respond. "Experiences of losing won't be of any use."

Athrun whipped his head and glared furiously in Shinn's direction. "What did you say?"

Shinn didn't answer, which did nothing but provoke the other further. Mentally, Rey sighed to himself. As these two formidable pilots continued to light one another's fuses normally he would stand back and let Athrun handle the insubordination; but right now, Shinn was the only one out of them capable enough of handling the 'enemy'.

"I apologize, Athrun. I'll have a talk with Shinn later."

With that said, the older boy stalked angrily out of their room. Once again Rey returned to stand by Shinn's side as they worked together for hours to defeat a common enemy. Together they formulated their own battle maneuvers based on a flaw Rey had discovered earlier. The Freedom would not have a chance.

Another hour later, both boys retired for the night and while Rey had no trouble sleeping, Shinn in his own bed was still wide awake. As always, Mayu's cell phone was clutched tightly in one hand but occasionally, the coordinator from Orb would find himself hugging his pillow. Embedding his face in the softness and picturing it as something - someone else.

He wouldn't do this often. It was only when he was certain his roommate was asleep, did Shinn allow himself to imagine that it was Kira he was holding in his arms. His Kira that is. Not Athrun's... not the pilot of the Gundam he was going to annihilate the next time they met in battle.

_'Just a name. Just a coincidence'_, he told himself. His Kira was also a coordinator but not a fighter. Let alone the pilot of the most powerful mobile suit in the world. It was impossible!

Yawning, Shinn knew that the shadows were closing in, already filling his dreams with doubt.

**-----------------------------------**

**Author's Notes:**

Due to popular demand, this will be a multi-chapter fic rather than a drabble I wrote awhile ago just to amuse myself. I'm not sure why, but the pairing has really stuck with me and - Whoa this is the first time in like months/years(?) that I was able to finish an entire chapter in less than a week! - Sad isn't it? If you have any comments or criticism, please review!

Shameless plug: If you want to read a somewhat side-prequel-ficlet to this series, check out "Washed Away" .

**Review Responses:**

**Spyrit Phoenyx -** Yes Kira's "lie" is going to do more than bite him on the ass... more like hand it to him P As for "How does Kira know?" well there's a lot of fan speculation going on that at this point that Kira already knows Shinn is the pilot of Impulse based on his 'senses' and the one line he utters before a battle. In this fic, however, I've come up with another way Kira would have found out - all will be revealed in the later chapters.

**FrozenMagicFire -** Kira was pretty much saved by the snore. I really don't think it would have gone well... and I'm just delaying the inevitable.

**Black RoseL Me -** Shinn is pretty much the total opposite of Kira personality wise. Whereas Kira is humble, quite and reserved in Destiny; Shinn is impulsive, short tempered and speaks his mind. Though what's amusing is that despite their differences, the two are very much alike. Especially the way they react - if there's something that they feel the need to accomplish, they'll do it without hesitation. - Sorry for rambling on. Ends character analysis.

**tyranimo -** I still like AthrunxKira... I mean they're practically cannon in slash-verse (dodges rocks thrown by rabid cagallixathrun and lacusxkira fans).

**ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice -** Well I continued writing, I hope you'll continue reading )

**shinycry -** Yes KiraxShinn! Yes, there's more ... because unfortunately the damned writer's block has squashed my other projects for now.


	3. Chapter 2

**Title: Pillow Talk (Chapter 2)**

**Author: **Tenohikari  
**Beta: **Nevermore Amaya  
**Fandom: **Gundam Seed Destiny  
**Pairing: **Kira/Shinn (um... yay for non-existent pairings)  
**Rating: **PG-13 (for the NC-17 version, check out my profile page)

**Warning: **A little AU-ish but there are spoilers for the series thus far and shounen ai/yaoi themed if you haven't gotten that from that pairing. Also the rating has gone up for this chapter for implied adult situations. Again, if this offends you in any way go BACK now.

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Two months earlier:

When it comes to riding a motorcycle in a foreign land, one would find it difficult to keep an eye on the road rather than their surroundings. Especially when it came to Diocuia - a coastal city along the Black Sea - that had so many sights to be seen all around. But not wanting to splatter his guts all over the road, the rider waited until he finally reached his destination, to allow his indigo eyes drink in the scenery.

The gentle lapping of the waves against the shore was always tranquil to him rather than the roar of an engine. It only took his ears a fraction of a second for his ears to adjust to the silence until a small mechanical chirp reminded him of his little stow-away. With a small chuckle, he lowered the zipper of his jacket and watched the two beady little eyes of his robot companion light up before hopping out onto his shoulder. It too surveyed the area before flapping green and yellow mechanical wings and took taking off into the air.

"Kira!"

At the call of his name, the brunette turned away from gazing up at his pet just in time to see someone coming towards him. He grunted as a solid weight collided with him, almost throwing them both off to the side. With a firm grip on the bike handle, Kira managed to right both of them back up before glancing down at the beaming face hovering just before his own.

"I missed you too, Shinn..." he trailed off as he spotted the dark scratches on the younger

coordinator's face and frowned with concern. "What happened?"

Garnet eyes slowly glanced sideways as if they could see what Kira was looking at. Bringing one his fingers up to trace them, he winced at the memory but managed to smile. "Oh these? I got them when I saved a girl from drowning the other day. At the time she got pretty hysterical and clawed me..."

Kira's features softened and he leaned down, planting a chaste kiss on the marred cheek. His lips twitched finally into a full smile as a rosy blush broke out only seconds later and began to spread. The younger boy pretended to be annoyed and demanded that his lover kiss him properly... which Kira gladly obliged to.

"I still can't believe it," Shinn said breathlessly when they finally separated for air. "How did you know I was here and where I'm staying at? What are you doing in Diocuia?"

These were questions Kira Yamato prepared himself to answer ever since he left the Archangel in the Skygrasper unit rather than taking Freedom. While on auto-pilot, he had racked his brain to come up with explanations that weren't all lies. Finally when he arrived at this city, he decided on half-truth answers. He could always tell Shinn the whole truth

when the appropriate time finally came.

-------------------------------------------

"So you told him that you're a war photographer?" Miriallia Haww stared incredulously at him from across the table, before firing the next question, "How is that a 'half truth', Kira?"

To his credit, he didn't flinch and stutter for an explanation when there really was none. Instead the teenager just shrugged his shoulders, and shook his head. Leaning back in his seat at the outdoor café where they agreed to meet that evening, he took a moment to listen to the bits and pieces or conversation around them... without actually listening to them; just letting the noise drown him for a moment.

"It isn't," he admitted flatly, "But I couldn't really tell him the truth now could I? Not with this war breaking out all around us."

Miriallia frowned at the response; taking her drink in hand she began to crush the cubes of ice on the bottom with the straw. "Sure it might be one little lie right now, but it's going to lead to another and another. Relationships require honesty and trust in order to be strong."

The young coordinator wanted to snap back at his old classmate and tell her that he knew that. He knew perfectly well what it felt loved and lied to at the same time. Kira knew that when he was with Fllay, she inwardly despised him despite her affections. But in this case, it wasn't like that with Shinn because...

'I know I'm in love with him.'

"Trust, hmmm?" he murmured to himself before glancing over Miriallia - who had pulverized her ice while waiting for a response - and smiled. "So what happened with Dearka?"

Everyone had been surprised at how well the two managed to hit it off by the time the war had ended two years ago. They were almost inseparable onboard the Archangel and the last time he heard, the former Buster pilot was planning to be stationed on Earth so he could be near her. So it was unexpected to hear from Athrun that Dearka had returned to PLANT and was still enlisted in ZAFT.

Miriallia's frown of impatience turned to that of irritation and she looked a little bitter that there was no more ice to crush. "Oh him? Well it had a lot to do with the whole "trust" part. He couldn't trust me to take care of myself when I started this profession - while he goes off and flies mobile suits into battle! Hypocrite!"

Kira couldn't think why worrying about one another's safety could lead to a break up - but wisely held his tongue. It was just 'safer' to be neutral. Unless of course not when you piloted a mobile suit that stood between ORB and the EA and ZAFT.

"But we're not here to talk about the 'past'," Miriallia reminded and met his gaze evenly, "So stop changing the subject." At Kira's reluctant nod the other brunette couldn't help but lean forward with a grin spreading across her face. "So what's he like, this boyfriend of yours?"

Poking at his own neglected beverage, Kira knew hiding Shinn from his persistent friend would be impossible. She was keeping tabs for him after all. Miriallia even set this arrangement at Diocuia at his request. If it wasn't for her freelance position - and past experience as the Archangel's CIC ability to contact the Freedom's radio - he wouldn't be able to be here. Or more importantly, be able to meet with Shinn later that evening before the Minerva would set off again. In a nutshell, Kira still (yes 'still', considering that he was picking up the bill after this meeting) owed her at least an explanation.

"Shinn is...," Kira began, quickly searching for the right words to define his young lover. He was certain that Shinn was self-assured, confident, and cocky to the point of being arrogant to those around him. Yet only in front of Kira did the younger boy show the other side of the coin. Shinn was incredibly modest and kind, the length he would go help someone in need was simply astounding...

_'Oh these? I got them when I saved a girl from drowning the other day.'_

"...Special."

Miriallia looked at him blandly.

"I figured that much," she responded dryly and picked up the dessert menu, "I mean it's been over a year since I last heard from you - and then out of the blue - you call me up asking for favors. Delivering your message to that hotel made me feel like I was back in school, sneaking love notes in class..." there was a hint of nostalgia in her voice, and Kira wondered if she was thinking about Tolle. "Instead of angry professors, this time I had to deal with ZAFT soldiers armed to kill."

Kira arched an eyebrow and seriously doubted she had to go through a whole mission impossible scenario just to deliver a message to Shinn's room.

"By the way, how did you know where to contact me?"

He waited for her to place an order for dessert before the waiter turned and walked away. "Neumann-san has been keeping tabs on us over the years," he informed her, and pulled out his wallet to pay before they could talk their way up to dinner. "Haven't heard much about or from Ssigh, have you?"

She shook her head, "Not really, a couple months after we parted ways, he wrote me an email that said something about studying abroad."

Kira only nodded, knowing if Arnold Neumann, the Archangel's pilot, was unable to contact him, then his old friend probably wasn't living in ORB anymore. That, or didn't want anything to do with them - and no one would blame him. He would have gladly stayed back at their beach house - thinking of Shinn while staring out at the ocean - if it hadn't been for the attack that caused them leave.

"Did you tell them?" Miriallia asked as her Crème Caramel was placed in front of her.

"Tell who what?"

Quickly Kira reached for the check when it also arrived, but didn't need to look up to see his friend shoot him the "stop playing dumb" look.

"No. I didn't tell them where I was going or meeting with - only that I would be back tomorrow night."

"Do they know about the two of you?"

"Lacus does. I didn't tell the others. They have the right to know, I suppose..." he hesitated, "just not now."

"Just like Shinn has the right to know that you're not a freelance camera man?" Miriallia smirked at him. "Has he even seen your attempts a photography? You practically juggled a camera around when we had that pool party on Heliopolis."

Kira flushed, but didn't reply, suddenly finding his signature on the returned bill to be extremely interesting. Back then, he hadn't told his friends he was a coordinator since he tended to klutz out a lot. It became even more frequent when it came to girls like Fllay Allester. As much as he tried to block it, the memory of the pool party returned along with Tolle hurrying up to take a picture of the girls in their swimsuits while they weren't looking. It was when one girl - who was very well endowed for her age - lost the top part of her bikini. This exposure of course caused Kira to freak out and fumble with the expensive camera, dropping it straight into the pool. He spent the rest of the summer earning money to replace it.

Definitely not a story he would be sharing with Shinn, or anyone else for that matter.

-------------------------------------------

It was eight o'clock sharp when Kira heard a knock coming from his hotel room door. Just on time. At the last second he had changed plans with his lover, asking him to come to his hotel instead. Originally, Shinn had invited him to his suite instead to take advantage of the free room service. Then at the meeting, Miriallia quickly pointed out, in that very polite way that Cagalli would have, that he was a total moron and if he wanted his rendezvous to stay a secret, don't spend the night at the same hotel Athrun Zala was also in. The mention of Athrun's name was all it took to convince Kira to make a quick call to Shinn's room, that and because the confrontation with his best friend - and who knows how many ZAFT soldiers - while sneaking out in the middle of the night just did not sit well with him.

Before the second knock he took a moment to check his small room and making sure - for the third time - that his flight suit remained out of sight. He opened the door and smiled back at the boy waiting on the other side. This time, Shinn didn't fling himself at him like he did earlier, but blushed and held up a paper bag that Kira assumed contained something edible in it.

"I didn't know if you ate yet so I picked something up," Shinn explained as the brunette invited him in. Thoughtful as ever, Kira couldn't hold himself back to kiss him even though he hadn't closed the door yet. The raven-haired boy leaned forward, eagerly returning it before he pulled away, a crimson blush already spreading across his pale face. "Umm... have you?"

Kira shook his head, and guided his guest to sit down after closing the door. "I'm sorry you had to go to the trouble," he spoke softly while gesturing for Shinn to make himself comfortable, "for everything. I hope you coming to see me this late hasn't inconvenienced you too much."

"No problem," the raven-haired teen spoke up, "I asked my commanding officer and he said it was all right, as long as I report back and don't get into any - more - trouble."

"More?"

Shinn absently brushed the healing scratches on his face. "Yeah, he had to come bail me and that girl I saved out of a jam the other day. I don't think he was too thrilled about it since he was pulled away from his fiancée."

There was uncertainty in the ZAFT pilot's tone, but Kira continued to listen while pouring water into two glasses at the small corner table.

"Anyway, I was glad to get out of that place," Shinn continued, "That new guy assigned to our ship is just way too perky to hang around to for long... and Rey never likes talking about anything for long periods of time, and then there's Zala-taichou who just lets himself be used in a game of coordinator tug-a-war between Luna and Meyrin..."

It was a very good thing that Shinn was seated facing the window, so he wouldn't have seen Kira nearly spill the entire pitcher and it's contents on himself. Zala-taichou. Of course. He should have known his friend would be climbing the ranks after learning about Athrun returning to ZAFT from Milly. Then the whole 'tug-a-war' line made him glad that he hadn't told anyone on Archangel about this trip. Kira was quite certain if Cagalli found out her would-be-fiancé was cheating, she would have force-fed Athrun's ring back to him.

"So you only came here to escape?" he asked, inwardly grinning while sounding hurt that his boyfriend could be so insensitive. Shinn wasn't fooled. At least not 'this' time.

"Yeah, pretty much," the ZAFT pilot responded seriously, "At least here I can channel surf in peace without having Vino and Youlan over my room and fighting for the remote."

Kira tossed him the remote control before opening the bag and examining it's contents. "Surf away, although you'll be disappointed in the selection. No cable and most of what's on is all news."

News. The outbreak of war and the suffering of people both on Earth and in Space, none of this was new to him. There were times Shinn wanted to pretend it wasn't happening, that was another reason why he was here. To try and suppress the memories of the death of his family, the slaughter he had seen of innocent civilians, and fighting battles one right after another. With Kira, he could manage to forget - even for just a little while - and simply live not just as a soldier or the pilot of a mobile suit, but just as Shinn Asuka.

"You're not going to watch?"

Shaking his head, he relinquished the remote and turned back to Kira who was chewing on whatever Shinn had picked up at that food stand on the way over. He winced and reconsidered buying food from a total stranger off a street cart. To be perfectly honest, he wasn't even sure what he had ordered only, that it smelled good at the time. For all he knew it could have been road kill, and from the look on the brunette's face, he was probably wondering the same.

"You know," the younger teen began, getting up from his seat and taking another on Kira's lap, "you don't have to give yourself food poisoning just to impress me."

A second later Kira reached for the paper bag and promptly emptied the un-eaten remains of his 'dinner' back into it. Shinn made a face and backed away a bit. That really didn't impress him either.

"Eww gross, and damn I was about to kiss you!"

The pilot of Freedom looked both apologetic and embarrassed for a moment, before suddenly gripping his lover's shoulder and kissing him fiercely. While Shinn was off-guard, Kira's eyes darted towards the bed and he knew that re-location was in order. With a speed that most coordinators did not possess he took a firm hold of the younger man and hoisted him up and into his arms.

Shinn barely had time to register what was going on before his back met the softness of the bed beneath him and the solid weight of Kira above him. All complaints about being kissed by someone who just spat out 'mystery meat' went quickly out the door as he reached up and wound his arms around Kira's neck. Once again, their lips met again in a fierce and sensual duel, as fingers began their exploration.

Kira gladly surrendered first, parting his lips as a warm tongue rubbed against his own, licking along the walls of his mouth. He shuddered at the sensation, squeezing Shinn's hip with one hand while reaching up and threading his fingers through raven-black hair with the other. The two boys stayed that way until their bodies dutifully reminded them that they needed air. Reluctantly, Kira pulled away so that he wasn't crushing the boy beneath him, breathing heavily in an effort to provide his body with enough oxygen. He had to admit though that asphyxiation caused by a kiss would have been a preferred way to die.

Recovering first, Shinn sat up and decided that the older boy was simply wearing too much right now. Chewing his lower lip, he eagerly began to work with the buckles on Kira's black shirt. He did find it a little odd that his boyfriend's wardrobe consisted mostly of casual black clothing that hid much of the torso as possible. Though he had to admit he also found the odd buckles and zippers tantalizing. The allure of the unseen. Unfortunately, it took much restraint to not just tear the damn buckled shirt apart as it got in the way of his impending quest for skin. Kira, of course, had more success when it came to the removal of his own clothing.

'I came here... because this is where you are.'

Shinn leaned forward, his mouth seeking out Kira's again, before trailing his lips to brush against the brunette's ear.

"I love you, you know," he whispered softly. Shinn's confession was surprising even to his own ears. He did not doubt the words, though wondered why he hadn't realized it before. His pulse raced as he felt the muscles under his arms tense for a moment. Kira had gone quiet, and his heart constricted at the deafening silence before he locked gazes with him yet again.

"I know," he replied quietly. There wasn't any doubt in those violet pools, but Shinn this time wasn't able to see something else that made Kira both upset and elated at the same time.

"I love you too."

All their battles were behind them now and the world - Plant and Earth - ceased to be…

-------------------------------------------

The bedside clock's incessant ringing woke Shinn the next morning, and as he shot a hand out to silence it, he noticed immediately that something was amiss. The dark-haired teen sat up quickly and barely registered that his skin sticky with sweat and there was a heavy lassitude in his limbs. His senses kicked in when he noticed that the person who had slept beside him last night was no longer present. In his place, however, was a note laying on the pillow beside him.

"Shinn -

I'm sorry, but I knew that by waking you, I wouldn't have been able to leave in one piece..."

Although he was upset his lover did not say goodbye in person, Shinn couldn't hold back the smug look on his face.

"...I'm writing this letter at four in the morning and without caffeine am having difficulty putting my feelings into comprehensible words; but I meant what I said last night. I do love you. I love your perseverance, the free spirit that drives you..."

As he read the list of attributes that Kira had admired - like him wearing his heart on his sleeve - he had to restrain himself from getting worked up. The young soldier sensed a "but" waiting just a couple sentences away.

"...But, as much as I love you, I cannot commit to you now."

The last words stung even if Shinn had been expecting them. Could not commit? Or would not? What did Kira mean?

"You and I are both driven by our goals, and I do believe that we fight for the same reasons, just for different people. Different causes."

Shinn was completely lost. The word 'fight' just wouldn't compute and he ignored it all together. What was Kira implying? They couldn't be together just because of a difference in opinion! That was ridiculous!

He was about to scramble out of bed, pull on his clothes, and go hunt down his boyfriend, only to realize that Kira had a three hour head start and was probably on a plane to wherever he needed to be by now. Even though he was slowly being torn apart by grief, Shinn forced himself to read the rest of the letter, hoping that all was not lost.

"Before you jump to every negative conclusion in your mind, please understand that this does not mean I don't want to be with you anymore. It's just that our priorities right now should be focused on the world we live in. There are still many things going on that I do not understand, but will struggle to resolve. Until then, keep reaching out to ones that need you and remember that when life is at its darkest, that's when you fight the hardest and prevail as long as you never give up hope.

Yours,

Kira."

Relief gradually outweighed the confusion as the realization struck that his Kira was not saying a real goodbye. Finally the smile that he had held back - and that had almost died halfway in the note - returned to make its glowing appearance. For he understood a part of it now, and knew the other coordinator was correct.

This war that had already taken so much from him, and he would not allow it to steal what he held dear to him again. As Shinn proudly put on his uniform, after taking the time to clean himself up, he swore to himself and to his Kira, that he would fight to bring an end to this war. At any cost.

**-----------------------------------**

**Author's Notes:**

It's FYI - This is edited version of chapter 2. If you want to read the NC-17 version, check out my profile page. Anyway, feed the author! Send money! (Or reviews!)

**Review Responses:**

**RuByMoOn17 -** ShinnXKira is crack-tastic, don't you agree?

**Craze Izumi -** They are, aren't they?

**Quixotically - **Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter of OOCness and continue to read future installments (hopefully by then, I'll be able to find a beta-reader)

**Kira-Chuu -** Wow, thank you, and you should definitely try to right KiraShinn, get creative with pairings and plot twists, ect :rambles on:

**Sarah -** Heh. Oh they both give each other pwnage on and off the battlefield/bedroom.

**gsdfan -** Maybe I'll try one of those random Destiny pairings. I mean I've already written a little GilxKira drabble - so why not... oh yeah, the OOCness :weeps:

**Black RoseL Me -** well KiraxShinn would actually go into the crack pairing category for Destiny. Shinn was at least a little respectful towards Kira in person but on the battlefield, it's all accusations and death threats. Poor Kira.

**ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice -** Um, well I updated. Feed me!


	4. Chapter 3

**Title: Pillow Talk (Chapter 3)**

**Author: **Tenohikari

**Betad by: **Nevermore Amaya

**Fandom: **Gundam Seed Destiny

**Pairing: **Kira/Shinn (um... yay for non-existent pairings)

**Rating: **PG-13/R

**Warning: **A little AU-ish but there are spoilers for the series thus far and shounen ai/yaoi themed if you haven't gotten that from that pairing.

**Legal Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Seed Destiny. Gundammit.

**-----------------------------------**

**Chapter Three**

When he stepped onto the bridge, both Murrue Ramius and Amagi paused in their conversation to regard him with friendly smiles which Kira struggled to return half-heartedly as he approached. He decided not to join them or anyone else sitting on the bridge, instead, he walked up to the view point and stared out the window looking straight ahead, his purple eyes took in the bright scenery of the snow covered mountains that surrounded their ship as they headed for the ocean.

After the Chairman of PLANT had made his world wide announcement - which will lead to world wide panic, if it hadn't started already. His feelings told him that something drastic was going to happen and soon and Gilbert Dullindal would be responsible for it. Unlike Athrun he would never trust a man who used an imposter who called herself "Lacus Clyne" - who probably had a hand in the attempt to assassinate the real one - in order to control people with their devotion to the idol.

'Using people against people; Chairman Dullindal is just like him...' he mused with a frown. Where Rau Le Creuset had depended on hatred and destruction to bring an end to everything, Dullindal used devotion and the pursuit of peace as tools to gain mass control. Inevitably the goals of the Chairman of PLANT would coincide with Creuset's. Labeling Logos as the enemy. The malevolent "merchants of death" as Dullindal referred to them were in some way affiliated with other countries across the globe. Bring the war to Logos and any other country that is believed to support them. Including Orb.

Up front he saw Cagalli sitting beside the ship's pilot Arnold Neumann, and admired the fact that even though the same worries were going through her mind, she managed to maintain a calm face. With the world about to be thrown into chaos, he knew the young monarch would have to take back her power to ensure their country and its people's survival. But this did not worry Kira because he had complete faith in her. Cagalli may be his biological twin sister, but she was still Uzumi Nara Attha's daughter.

"Were you able to get some rest, Kira-kun?"

He snapped out of his daze and turned towards Captain Ramius, who was concerned by his silence. Kira quickly clamped his mouth shut before he had the chance to brush the question off with a lie. He hadn't slept well at all with the Impulse pilot's voice yelling in his head. No matter how many times he tried to suppress them, images of Shinn's reaction to the truth would always linger in his mind. As much as he wished that the young ZAFT soldier would understand, Kira knew what to expect.

_"The Freedom, I know it's one of the most powerful Gundams out there, but if it causes anymore harm to my team mates... I'll have to destroy it."_

Glancing over to Miriallia, who had taken back her position as the Archangel's CIC, Kira wondered if he could tell her what happened. Even if she couldn't give him any suggestion on what he ought to do this time, he would be glad to confide in someone who knew his secret. Unfortunately, no sooner did he take a step in her direction did she announce that several BuCUEs and BABIs had been spotted on radar, and were headed in their direction.

Damn. He had been expecting this, but didn't anticipate ZAFT going after them so soon!

"I'm going out!" Kira informed them, running towards the doors.

Cagalli turned her seat around and stood up. "Strike Rouge and the Murasume unit will join you."

Quickly he turned on his heel and blocked the exit as she approached. The princess of Orb blinked and stared at him oddly. "What are you doing, Kira? You're blocking-"

"Stay here," he cut her off, and glanced towards Amagi who was about to call the other pilots. "I'm going out alone."

All eyes, except for Neumann (because he was piloting the Archangel) were now on him - staring in disbelief. Murrue opened her mouth to protest but it was his sister who beat her to it.

"What are you talking about?" she demanded, "We're not going to let you fight by yourself!"

"I never fight alone," Kira reminded before addressing the crew, "The fact that they're sending all those units can only mean that this is a trap. We can't be intimidated into it by fighting back, when our main objective is to return to Orb. I'll only be covering the Archangel until we reach the ocean."

"But..."

Calmly he placed his hands on Cagalli's shoulders and gently pushed her back a step into the room. It was when he was standing right front of her, having to look down to meet with worried amber eyes, did the brunette seemed to be aware of how much taller he had grown. It was only a year ago, that they were about the same height and almost the same build. His sibling seemed to note his surprise with annoyance as she tear her gaze away.

"Fine... but I'm heading out if you're not back before we dive!"

A broad smile animated his normally sober features as Kira once again moved back towards the exit. "Everything will be all right. I'll be fine," he promised his twin.

Deja-vu struck suddenly and Kira Yamato found himself remembering Heliopolis once again. Where it had all started for the two of them. The two year old memory of shoving her into the elevator leading to the last available shelter was now fresh in his mind. He had said almost the same exact words to Cagalli - who had been a stranger back then - before he eventually became the pilot of the Strike Gundam.

Maybe it was destiny that constantly brought them back together during war time, and he hoped, would continue to do so. Before the doors closed between them, Kira turned to look back over his shoulder and smiled.

"I'll be back, neesan."

--------------------

'What happened to us?' Lunamaria Hawke wondered as she watched her once close comrades as they sat around the wreck room in deafening silence.

True, Rey had always been the quiet one of the group, but at least he acknowledged the rest of them. For the past few days, he'd been more distant than usual. He barely even looked her way when she stepped into the room. Then again neither did Athrun, who sat on the other side of the room, holding his head in his hands.

Wordlessly she walked across the room to sit beside him, silently offering the veteran pilot her support. Only that he seemed oblivious to it... or didn't want to accept it, she couldn't tell. What she did know was that he was suffering.

Only recently did their ship join "Operation: Angel Down" and Athrun was powerless to stop or even warn his former allies.

"Athrun-san," she began while leaning closer to him - though being careful about her injuries. "Do you want to talk about it?"

From between his fingers, she saw one visible, weary, emerald eye regard her silently. A soft sigh escape his throat as he sat up, running a trembling hand through his dark hair. He glanced her way for a moment and Lunamaria actually believed he was about to confide in her...

... Until Shinn, who was already dressed in his pilot suit, stepped into the room.

She watched Athrun tense as those cold crimson eyes glanced in their direction before looking away in disinterest. Shinn walked over towards Rey who stood up and the two grinned at one another. Lunamaria blinked, and wondered if she was seeing things. Why were they in a good mood all of a sudden? Whatever the reason, it seemed to infuriate the older teen sitting next to her even more.

He stood up abruptly, and walked over to pilot of Impulse, glaring warningly at him. It almost sent chills down Lunamaria's spine at the sight of it. The Zaku Warrior pilot thought she had saw Athrun when he was provoked after slapping Shinn for acting foolishly heroic; but it was nothing compared to the threatening expression he was wearing now.

Lunamaria had to admire Shinn a little for not being intimidated as he returned the glare with as much ferocity. She expected both of them to shout at one another any minute, or even raise their fists and let them do the talking; but the younger pilot merely side stepped his senior and went straight to the elevator leading to the hanger.

"Shinn!"

Athrun cried out as he turned around quickly only to watch the other boy smirk just before the door hissed closed. Unable to do anything now but watch the oncoming battle on screen, the former pilot of Savior sagged his shoulders, bowing his head in a defeat.

--------------------

After launching from the Minerva, it didn't take him long to locate his target as he dived into the battle below him, effectively blocking the Freedom's escape route. The other ZAFT mobile suits - the ones that were still in one piece - quickly left him to his prey as they focused their attention on the Archangel. Shinn couldn't really care less, in fact he was thrilled with a one on one fight. He was confident in his piloting skills now more than ever.

"I made a promise to Stellar and myself," he said out loud, "That someday, you were going to be destroyed..."

No matter how angry he felt, Shinn wouldn't let it hinder him. Instead he focused. His mind clear of everything except for the image of the dying girl he held in his arms. The girl he laid to rest in freezing waters while Athrun poorly tried to convince him of sparing her murderer.

"...And I'll be the one to do it!"

As their mobile suits exchanged blows, Shinn's lips twisted into a grin at his opponent's attempt to hit him. In the past he might have fallen victim to the enemy's strategy; but now he would take advantage of it. The pilot of Freedom may be weak-hearted by never shooting to kill, but Shinn wasn't.

_'The Freedom is indeed fast. It's aim is also accurate but he never targets the cockpit. The pilot always aims for the weapons or the main camera. That's where the Impulse's chance lies.'_

For the past few days he'd kept himself busy with combat simulations and strategy lessons from Rey. Until his dreams were no longer of his family living peacefully in Orb, or settling down with his precious person after the war was over; but destroying the Freedom and reducing it to scrap.

"If you had only listened," he growled, tossing his shield in the other mobile suit's direction, and skillfully letting one of his shots ricochet off it to damage the enemy. "She would still be alive."

"If you hadn't interfered..."

_'What do you think you can accomplish by being a sitting duck!'_

_'Kira isn't your enemy!'_

Shinn seethed as the words the pilot of Freedom had shouted to him over radio and Athrun's outburst in his room came back to play tricks with his memory. The two voices merged together until now he was hearing only Kira - his Kira - speak those same words. Such a distraction caused him to lose focus for a mere second, giving enough time for his enemy to take out the main camera by beheading the Impulse.

"He's not Kira," Shinn hissed as he gripped the controls, "Your Kira takes pictures. He wouldn't be fighting against you. He would have listened..."

Swearing under his breath, he cleared his mind again and ordered Meyrin to launch the Chest Flyer and Force Silhouette.

--------------------

Kira gritted his teeth as he tried to stabilize the Freedom's balance before it began to tumble down the snow covered mountain side. This wasn't good. The enemy mobile suit was insistent on his annihilation as he heard as the alarm went off. Just before the blast could connect he launched Freedom back into the air to engage in combat once again.

'Why?' Kira wondered as he dodged another incoming attack, 'Why did it have to be this way?'

He had already had many opportunities to take his enemy down, and missed them all purposefully. Kira could never again bring himself to make another direct kill by aiming at the cockpit. From the moment he received the Freedom, his initiated his "no kill" policy and was confident enough in his piloting skills to uphold it.

Piloting skills that were now being pushed to the limit, as his opponent seem to shield and evade his calculated shots with ease. Indeed the Impulse Gundam was quite formidable, this wasn't the first time they clashed after all. Aside from his policy, Kira again had to face the same dilemma he had two years ago. That the person whom he was fighting against, was someone dear to him.

"You've gotten better, Shinn," the brunette commented to himself as he tried to keep as much distance away from the Impulse as possible. At the same time he had been listening to the Captain of the Minerva try to convince them to surrender through the International Emergency Channel.

As much as he wanted to end this battle peacefully, Kira knew that something more important hung in the balance than just their lives. With the world being torn between PLANT and the Earth Alliance, ORB must once again be neutral in order to survive and bring stability.

With that thought in mind, he quickly sent the Archangel a message and hoped they would follow through. Their top priority should be taking Cagalli back to ORB to regain power. It was probably the only chance to save their country.

At Murrue's refusal of the offer over the channel, he allowed himself to concentrate once again on defeating the attacking mobile suit, while trying to keep them both alive. It was a difficult task and when he saw an opening he took it, decapitating the Gundam and hoping that without the main camera, Shinn would have to retreat.

Yet even with it's torso split apart, the pilot continued to fight him using only a light fighter craft that he assumed had once been the cockpit. Kira felt the wind knocked out of him as the fighter slammed forward into the Freedom before he had the chance to dodge. Machine gun fire followed, giving him no chance to recover.

By the time he managed to breathe, Kira realized he was spiraling downwards and quickly hit the thrusters before the Freedom crashed into the ground. Righting the mobile suit up in mid air, he turned to escape.

'Can't keep this up... need to help the Archangel...' Kira thought in a haze, wondering how the others were fairing against the Minerva and the other ZAFT forces that were pursuing them.

Yet once again, the Impulse - with it's undamaged new armaments - moved in to block his path. Kira cursed his luck and drew out the beam saber as he decided to switch tactics. Instead of aiming at the normal places, he would pretend to attack the Gundam's torso and catch Shinn off guard by trying to shield himself or dodge.

However, he wasn't counting on the Impulse disassembling itself, splitting apart just at the right time. His saber swiped through air and Kira didn't even have a chance to dodge as he was shot at from behind. With one wing blown off and the other severely damaged, he struggled to gain control - losing grip instead his last saber - and get out of the way before Shinn could lock onto him.

Now, Kira was struggling just to stay alive as he weaved through streams of laser fire that came his way, and at the same time distancing himself from the Impulse whenever it got too close. Even when he did use the beam rifle, Shinn managed to maneuver his Mobile Suit fast enough to avoid each shot rather than blocking them. Until finally, a few well-placed hits forced him to release the weapon, before it had a chance to explode and take Freedom's arm off.

With nothing left to attack with, his seed activated and Kira pulled up his shield as the Impulse - now armed with it's sword - came charging at him.

"Everyone..." he managed to whisper as the blade pierced it's way through shield and torso.

_I'm sorry._

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"Launch Strike Rouge, I'm going!" Cagalli yelled as she bolted from her seat and was prepared to head to the hanger. That was until Murrue's umber stare held the princess in place.

"You will not," the Captain sternly informed her. "Kira-kun is right, our number one priority is to get to Orb. I swear I will not lose you or any Murasume along the way."

Much to the teenager's surprise she found herself sitting back down. This was what her brother had wanted after all. "But Kira," she began to cry over the sound of thunderous explosions coming from outside. "What about Kira!"

Amagi, seated within the Combat Information Center, looked torn between agreeing with the Archangel captain and sending his restless pilots out. As much as he hated to admit, their men probably wouldn't stand a chance in this situation. They were out numbered. If their ship didn't make it to the ocean to escape now, or they would all surely meet their end here.

"Kira-sama will be fine," he assured her before Neumann announced that they had finally reached their destination.

Much to Cagalli's tears and protests, Captain Ramius ordered for the Archangel to dive, just as the Minerva prepared to fire their primary weapon at them. Yet for some unexplainable reason, a large explosion erupted between the two ships before it fired. Massive waves rocked the enemy backward giving the infamous legged battle ship to submerge itself into the waters.

Though severely damaged from the blast, the Archangel had made it.

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This couldn't be happening, Athrun told himself as both the Freedom and Archangel had disappeared from sight. Before the operation had started the feeling of dread had overpowered him the moment he stepped out of the Captain's room. Perhaps he should have listened to her advice by remaining in his own quarters rather than being a spectator. Yet he stubbornly forced himself to watch the entire battle and felt his stomach twist into several knots at the damage Freedom had took before the final blow, and when the Minerva had fired Tannhauser at the Archangel. All that remained when the smoke cleared and the water settled, were the floating scrap heaps and debris of what was once been a mobile suit.

"This is impossible!"

He stood there by himself, wide eyes fixated to television, and unaware that both Lunamaria and Rey had left for the hanger. Athrun brought one trembling hand to the screen, pressing his palm against it. Silently he prayed that the real Freedom would rise up above the wreckage, and felt his heart constrict every second it didn't occur.

_'Kira... is it too late? Are you really gone?'_

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Athrun typed in the access code for the bridge so he could talk to Captain Gladys. Using his FAITH status, he would find the answers to those questions himself.

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**Review Responses: **

Freckled Glasses - Yes if this pairing makes you go "What...?" then I guess I've done my job. You're right though, Kira and Shinn will be nowhere close to peaceful in the later chapters. I'll be struggling to keep Shinn in character when finally the moment of truth arrives. Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to read and review.

Spyrit Phoenyx - I thought about Lacus being Kira's confident - I mean she kind of already is and supports him (if you've read 'Washed Away') - but yes it would have been awkward. Also Miriallia is one of his oldest friends and sadly doesn't get enough character development. Always glad to hear input from another KiraxShinn writer, and hope to read more fluffy or angsty one-shots (PS. Are you going to continue PROJECT CRUSH?)

jkert25 - Shinn's reaction to finding out his Kira was the pilot of Freedom is definetly the moment we've all been waiting for. Also hoping for it happening in the series; but sadly I'm doubtful considering the fact that Shinn is far from observant in the anime.

RuByMoOn17 - KiraxShinn Addiction, that's why we call it a "crack pairing", my dear.

Craze Izumi - Yeah me too...

Nevermore-Amaya - Please, please, please - and more shameless begging - be my beta reader! Email me if you're still interested. I'm also writing the uncut NC-17 version of the previous chapter, I'll post up the link as soon as I'm done with it. As for the story, yes Kira was smart to leave in the end of chapter 3, but he makes a mistake about coming back to Shinn in the Prologue. I don't think anyone caught that, so I'm pointing it out now.

ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice - Thank you so much! Please continue to review!

Kuroi Hana - Thank you, I'll keep updating as long as writer's block doesn't kick in.


	5. Chapter 4

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Title: Pillow Talk (Chapter 4)

Author: Tenohikari

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Fandom: Gundam Seed Destiny

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Pairing: Kira/Shinn (um... yay for non-existent pairings)

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Rating: PG-13/R

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Warning: A little AU-ish but there are spoilers for the series thus far and shounen ai/yaoi themed if you haven't gotten that from that pairing. Also the rating has gone up for this chapter for implied adult situations. Again, if this offends you in any way go BACK now.

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More warnings: Sorry for the delay. This chapter was VERY rushed and unbetad, so all errors are my own (I guess it would double as a legal disclaimer, wouldn't it? No? Okay. Legal Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed Destiny. Gundammit.)

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Chapter Four

There was a persistent beeping noise in Kira's ears. He couldn't quite identify it, and he certainly couldn't make it go away. With considerable effort, the pilot of the Freedom managed to lift his head up a little and cracked one eye open. He winced as the flashing crimson light within the cockpit blinded him momentarily while one of his hands groped at the control panel to make the unrelenting alarm stop.

When he was able to open his left eye again - for some reason the right eye-lid refused to open - Kira found himself staring at where his hand was splayed on the panel. More importantly on the flickering "EMERGENCY - Nuclear Reactor Cut Off" text and the lever beneath his fingers. Bleakly, he remembered disabling it just when the Impulse had come charging towards him.

"Shinn..." he rasped out, before leaning forward to rest his head back on the panel. No longer caring about the noise and flashing lights, Kira closed his eye and allowed his mind to spiral into darkness.

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One month earlier...

"Kira?"

Kira looked away from the sunset to glance down at the young man who's head was resting in his lap while they were sprawled on the grass. True to his word, he had managed to make time to visit Shinn when he learned that the Minerva had docked at Tarcuius near the Sea of Marmara. It would be a short one day visit, but Kira always looked forward to spending time together with Shinn, whether it be a week or even an hour. A wide smile tugged at his lips as he threaded his hand through the other's dark locks. Though, the brunette noted sadly how those ruby eyes refused to meet his gaze.

"Yes?"

"Are you going back there?"

The hand stilled in Shinn's hair, and the pilot of the Freedom found himself averting his own eyes. Was his lover referring to the Archangel? Was it possible that he found out the truth somehow?

"Where?" Kira asked cautiously when he felt the other's fingers curl around his wrist.

"Orb."

Releasing a breath the older coordinator hadn't known he had been holding; Kira shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "Perhaps someday. After my work is finished and I've completed what I set out to do. Why do you ask?"

Even though he was looking straight up at his boyfriend, the brunette felt as if those ruby eyes were looking right through him. Shinn didn't respond at first, and Kira didn't think he was going to until he felt the soft caress against his cheek. His lips formed a tiny smile of relief as he covered that hand with his own.

"Perhaps someday," Shinn echoed, "I'll go back too."

Leaning forward, the brunette buried his nose into the dark locks of his lover's hair. While reaching around to hold the younger boy to him.

"And I'll be waiting."

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Shinn didn't think it was possible to be elated and pissed off at the same time, but he was. Sitting on one of the recreation room's sofas, he was still grinning over his victor while still frustrated with Athrun. Especially after punching him across the face, his senior officer took off to search the remains of the Freedom for any survivors.

He knew Athrun was just wasting his time. Even if it was possible for the pilot to survive that explosion, there was no way the Captain would allow him to bring an enemy to onboard. Not after the huge fuss she made when he had brought Stellar after discovering that had been the pilot of Gaia.

Now all she was, was a memory. Just like his family.

"Will you stop grinning like that, it's creeping me out."

The raven-haired boy blinked and looked up to see Lunamaria standing right in front of him an ice pack in hand. How long had she been there? Shinn wasn't sure. As soon as he sat down, he had tuned out everything and everyone around him. The grin quickly melted off his face as he calmly accepted the offered ice pack, placing it over his bruised cheek.

"Thanks," he muttered quietly, wincing as the side of his face began to feel numb before he glanced at other two pilots in the room, "So is he back yet?"

It was almost an hour ago when Athrun had taken off in the ZAKU warrior - with permission from the Captain - to dive beneath the frigid waters. Since then, he hadn't returned or made contact with the Minerva according to Meyrin. Lunamaria sighed quietly before shaking her head, though conflicted with her own feelings on the situation. She had secretly been there when Athrun had been briefly reunited with his former comrades. Listening carefully as he demanded them to return to Orb and stop interfering. If only they had listened to him. Maybe he wouldn't be suffering like this. Almost powerless and unable to do anything.

"No," Rey answered, approaching them to stand by Shinn. "Athrun will return when he realizes that there is nothing left to be saved."

Shinn scowled a little before rising to his feet. "I just can't believe he went out of his way to help an enemy."

Lunamaria held her tongue from pointing out that Shinn had done the same exact thing. She didn't want to have to pick sides among her teammates. It was obvious that both Shinn and Rey no longer respected Athrun as their commander. What had been shocking was to listen to the normally reserved blonde speaking out in front of everyone in the hanger. Putting the veteran pilot on the spot after hitting Shinn for completing his mission. She saw that as much as Athrun wanted to defend himself, when Rey accused him of acting on personal feelings, even though they were completely true.

"It can't be helped," Rey explained, "like it or not, they were comrades once. Athrun is also in FAITH and can freely do as he pleases especially now that he has the Captain's permission."

While clenching the ice pack in his hand, Shinn's garnet eyes narrowed dangerously. "I got my revenge, so it doesn't matter if..."

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"Kira isn't your enemy!"

"Kira was never trying to kill you!"

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'Kira...'

It just couldn't be possible. Shinn was trying to convince himself that his Kira and Athrun's just couldn't be the same person, and he was stating to fail. Images of their last night together came back to haunt him. When he was suffering from insomnia, and woke his lover to engage in pillow talk until he finally was able to get some sleep.

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"I'm sorry."

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"Huh? Why are you apologizing...?"

"Shinn?"

Rey and Lunamaria was staring at him oddly for spacing out for suddenly spacing out. He shook his head in an effort to clear it and opened his mouth to finish what he was going to say until he was suddenly cut off when one of the ship's mechanics, Vino Dupre, came rushing into the room.

The young redhead's face was flushed meaning he must have came running from the hanger in record speed. Only needing a couple seconds to recover, the mechanic pointed in the direction from where he came.

"The ZAKU Warrior returned!" he informed them, "and Athrun brought something back with him!"

"Something?"

"I... We think its the cockpit of the Freedom!"

The ice pack from Shinn's clenched hand fell to the floor as the teen stared at Vino in disbelief before rushing towards the hanger.

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'How long has it been since I last saw you?' Shinn wondered to himself as he stared at the sleeping form of his lover. It seemed like years, perhaps only months, but in retrospect he knows it's only been weeks. Yet even a week is too long, and he knows that something has changed between them. The dark haired boy could feel it.

Whenever Kira looks at him from the corner of his eye, he feels as if the older boy were trying to tell him something. There was a time when he finally had enough with the stares and not so seriously asked his boyfriend if he was trying to communicate to him via telepathy, and let him in on the internal conversation. Laughter followed and normalcy resumed between them for a short time.

However, Shinn didn't feel at ease with the growing distance between them. After their brief meeting at Tarcuius, he became concerned how the brunette was more reserved than usual. Their conversations didn't seem to last that long especially when the topic or the war, or PLANT, or ORB came up. He could understand if Kira's occupation as a war photographer was starting to put a strain on him. Traveling to different countries to take pictures as a spectator, while unable to do anything to ease human suffering. Shinn felt the same frustrations, there was only so much he could do as a the pilot of Impulse after all. However, he just wished that his boyfriend would confide in him a little more. Was that so much to ask for?

He started when a finger teased his lower lip and glance up to see half lidded violet orbs stare deep into his own. Then Kira squeezed his eyes shut suddenly. The younger man tensed as he moved to loom over the chestnut haired coordinator in concern.

"Kira?"

"Shhh..."

"Huh?" Shinn blinked in confusion as an awkward silence past between them. This was unusual, he didn't remember seeing any injuries on his lover during their... previous workout. It made Shinn lightheaded and flushed just thinking about it. Finally curiosity kicked in and he placed a hand on the brunette's shoulder. "Ano, Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," came a simple response as he squeezed his eyes shut even tighter.

"Then what's wrong?"

A small teasing grin suddenly appeared on Kira's face.

"Nothing's wrong, just using my awesome powers of telepathy to summon room service."

Shinn was taken aback and ended up falling out of bed somehow. Sheets were now entangled around his limbs and he tried his best not to tear them apart in attempt to free himself. With a wider smile on his face, Kira leaned over the edge to look at him.

"I have a craving for something sweet," he explained and continued to squeeze his eyes closed in a facade of concentration. "Now what should I order? Hmm..."

Those hungry half closed amethyst eyes then focused on Shinn who promptly squeaked as a solid weight pinned him flat on his back against the floor.

"K-Kira!"

The rest of protest was cut off as warm lips descended down over his mouth, affectively shutting him up.

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Athrun was aware of the murmur of voices around him, along with the armed soldiers that gestured for everyone in the hanger to stand back. He managed to tune the noise out, all except the buzzing of electric saws that continued to cut through the hatch and open the cockpit. It wouldn't be long now, he knew, standing anxiously behind the workers until they finally pulled back.

He stepped forward, mouth suddenly gone dry as Athrun realized he was about to expose his best friend. That and how eerily silent the entire room had become, as his booted feet echoed across the durasteel floor. Swallowing hard, he finally reached the cockpit and with little effort on his part, managed to get it open. What he saw made him forget about the other observers standing within the hanger.

His best friend was leaning forward almost lifelessly against the control panel despite the seat restraints. Athrun called out to his best friend as he broke those restraints and carefully pulled the unmoving body from out of the cockpit. Gently he lowered the wounded pilot to the ground, before kneeling beside him and removing his helmet.

"Kira!"

Once again, there was no response. Rivulets of blood streaked the right side of the brunette's face. Athrun forced himself not to think that the worse had happened when he lowered the zipper of the navy-white flight suit to check the other teen's pulse.

Relief spread across his features before he called out for a stretcher. At least Kira was alive. He would figure out away to free him later, now the most important thing was to make sure his friend...

"What's going on?"

His head shot up as he heard the Impulse pilot's voice cut through the murmur of the crowd. It wasn't long before the young pilots of the Minerva crew approached, shock and confusion on each of their faces. Automatically, Athrun moved to stand protectively over his best friend. Shinn Asuka almost killed Kira once today, he wouldn't allow the younger Coordinator another chance.

Unknown to everyone, Shinn's brain was going into meltdown. He had practically flew to the hanger in hopes of confirming his doubts were reality. That the person Athrun had brought back was not his Kira and that the pilot would die shortly. For all his churning, roiling hatred for the person who murdered Stellar; everything had been swept away in that single monumental moment he saw Athrun hovering near a body on the floor. His heart constricted as a feeling of dread washed over him. Then his eyes scanned upwards and caught sight of the unconscious person's face.

"You and I are both driven by our goals, and I do believe that we fight for the same reasons, just for different people. Different causes."

He was trembling now, fists clenched tightly and shaking at his sides. Why was this happening to him again? He adjust avenged Stellar's death, only to be the one responsible for nearly killing his own lover? His lover... was that really Kira laying on the floor with blood on his face? Or maybe his eyes were just playing tricks on him?

"I'm sorry."

The wounded pilot of the Freedom Gundam slowly turned his head to the side and drew a ragged breath. Indicating to everyone present that he was still alive. Whatever daze Shinn had been in was shattered as he made the attempt to stand next to his lover. His superior officer quickly rose to stand, block his path. Green eyes narrowed in warning.

"Stay back," Athrun ordered while looking directly at the crimson-eyed coordinator, even though he was referring to the newcomers. Still dumbstruck by the discovery that his Kira and Athrun's were one and the same, Shinn wordlessly obeyed. Though feeling as if someone had pulled the world right out from underneath him.

It wasn't much longer before Minerva's medic crew entered the hanger and rushing towards the injured pilot on the floor. He would have liked to have said something as the lifted Kira onto the stretcher. His jaw open and closed for a long moment, but Shinn found himself incapable of coherent speech. He couldn't even glare back at Athrun! All the garnet-eyed young man could do was gape at the sight of his most precious person suffering from wounds that he had inflicted. And then they were gone before he even had a chance to utter a sound, or even an apology.

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"You're leaving."

It wasn't a question. Just a simple statement of the obvious as Kira pulled on his clothes as quietly as possible. He had wanted to go before his lover had awakened, if anything but to avoid confrontation and awkward goodbyes. Unfortunately for him, he had been caught in the act by his own yellow and green mechanical bird that chirped its own name while circling above his head.

The brunette could hear his lover shift slightly in bed and as much as he tried to resist, found himself looking over his shoulder for one quick look. Shinn who had been lying on his side, sat up slowly. The movement caused the bed sheets to fall from his body the pale expanse of the younger boy's torso.

Kira felt his mouth go dry all of a sudden, and tried to look away with no avail. Already he could feel his face heat up with an angry blush. He so desperately wanted to shirk off his clothing, climb back in bed, and continue what they had started a couple hours ago. No, he couldn't turn back, not now. The violet eyed young man knew if he did that, he wouldn't have any willpower to leave again.

"Kira, when will I see you again?"

A question this time… but Shinn's tone made his name into a plea and an accusation rolled up into one. The older teen was finally able to tear his gaze away, fully aware that he was almost shaking now. Common sense was telling him leave and not to look back. His heart, which was beating heavily in his chest, wanted to stay despite how much he was needed back at the Archangel.

"I don't know," he admitted soberly.

It was odd though, how they suddenly filled the emptiness in one another's lives. Ironic, how they met the same place where Shinn had lost everything. He had only known the boy for a little more than a week, and yet it felt like they knew one another their entire lives. Those ruby eyes had bewitched him somehow. He had to leave before they had a chance to do it again…

The older coordinator stiffened suddenly as he felt a pair of slender arms encircle his waist. He could feel the shorter male lean against him, breathing gently against his ear. A shiver ran down his spine and it took sheer willpower alone not to turn around. No matter how badly Shinn teased him back with the trailing kisses along his throat.

Another shiver and Kira lost his grip on his overnight bag. Maybe…, perhaps maybe one more day… he could try and make Captain Ramius and the others understand … and NO! He promised he would return to the ship today. Who knows when they were needed in this war torn world.

Silently taking in a deep breath, he turned around to face the barely covered raven-haired boy and smiled. Shinn had to stifle a giggle though when his lover used the opportunity to lean forward and kiss his nose. Oh already he felt giddy… something he hadn't experienced in a long time.

"Come with me."

The claimed photographer blinked, staring back at his boyfriend quizzically. "what?"

"Come with me," Shinn insisted while grasping the other's hands. "On the Mineva, you could do your work along with us and..."

"I'm sorry."

Kira gently extracted himself from the other's hold, averting his eyes so he wouldn't have to see the disappointment on the young mobile suit pilot's face. He reached down and picked up his luggage before turning towards the door. His hand paused the doorknob though and finally the urge to look back took over.

"I'm sorry," he repeated softly, "As much as I want to... work alongside you, it would be impossible right now. We'll meet again though, I'm sure of it."

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The pilot of the Freedom awoke with a groan. Artificial light cut into his eyes like a knife the minute he'd opened them and the headache he'd had upon waking intensified. His whole body hurt, his head and arm especially. He confusedly looked around his room, wondering how he got into his bed.

Odd, this place didn't look at all like his room. It almost resembled an infirmary onboard the Archangel. Yet why were the medical staff looking at him oddly? He attempted to sit up, an action the young man immediately regretted as pain lanced down his back and shoulder. He tried to balance himself with his bandaged arms, but why were they handcuffed before him?

"Kira!"

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That voice...

Slowly he turned his attention towards the ZAFT soldier standing besides his stretcher and realization struck him like another blow to the head. If he was bound like some prisoner and with Athrun , then there was probably no doubt that he was onboard Minerva. The very same ship that had been given the order to sink the Archangel!

Adrenalin - nature's pain killer - quickly shot through his worn body as he tried to get out of the bed and on his feet. He couldn't be here! Not when the Archangel was most likely still in danger. His best friend was talking to him again, most likely advising him to rest. However Athrun's pleas fell on deaf ears and Kira felt himself being pushed back forcefully until he was lying down again.

"Let go!" he rasped, struggling feebly under Athrun's grip. "T-They need me!"

He could hear the sound of more voices yelling in the room as he struggled to get free. Someone yelled in surprise and pain in the room, but it wasn't him. Or was it? His wrists were hurting like hell as they were now no longer bound to one another. He was forced back again, pinned in place by Athrun as a man in a white coat - whom he could only assume was a doctor.

"Calm down, Kira!"

Athrun's voice broke through the haze. Just before Kira stiffened and shifted his attention to the syringe pierced through his skin, injecting him with something that almost immediately killed anymore resistance. He slumped back down on the bed, head resting against the pillows. Yet before the darkness could claim him yet again, Kira managed turn his head to the side and find the nearest exit.

It was blocked by another ZAFT soldier in red uniform with matching eyes. _'Why!' _they seemed to plead urgently at him. _'Why didn't you tell me!'_

Kira's tongue felt comatose and useless, and he said nothing.

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Author's Notes: Again… rushed chapter despite the two-three week delay. Amaya, you're probably going to have a field day with this beta-ing this (and the uncut version of chapter 2, whill I'll be sending you very soon) . :Winces: I didn't even have time to double check it. Need to finish Psychology paper … need to finish psychology paper …

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Review Responses:

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Wyntermajik - Thank you for reviewing at both places then. The NC-17 chapters will be posted on the adult fan account after they're betad.

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Kira-Chuu - Ever since I saw the IGNITED first opening of Destiny back 2004 - I was dying to see Shinn VS Kira. Until episode 34, I almost gave up hope the two would REALLY clash since their previous "battles" didn't really lead anywhere. Kind of like the old SEED Kira VS Athrun days. The jaw-dropping battles only come out after a potential love interest / close comrade dies.

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Kuroi Hana - Come on now, you didn't think I'd really kill Kira did you?

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Freckled Glasses - Wow this has got to be the longest review I have ever received , and I love you for it! Thank god Amaya is willing to beta for me. When I have more time I will go over her note corrections again so I can stop making the same tense mistakes.

I do admire Lunamaria's character, fans tend to forget that she's the only female pilot onboard the Minerva - teamed up with some pretty formidable pilots - two of them are ZAFT Aces. So she has to struggle and keep up with them at the same time help maintain camaraderie by supporting Athrun when Shinn and Rey plotted to destroy the Freedom.

In this story, Shinn is in love with Kira (and vice versa), but in my opinion, I don't think Shinn loved Stellar at all. At least not romantically. They're relationship was pretty much based on a promise that he would protect her because he felt Stellar was unable to defend herself. Kind of like how a brother would always stand up for his younger sibling. So yes, he would almost see her as Mayu.

Episode speculation - I have no idea why Kira went SEED at the last minute. Perhaps it was because the Archangel was very close to being destroyed by the Minerva. Instead of using his berserk mode to turn the tables and defeat the Impulse, he reacted only to save it, himself, and the Archangel from the nuclear explosion. The Freedom Gundam explodes after it's stabbed through the torso, and I believe Minerva fired the Tannhauser a few seconds after that, but it only hit the water while Archangel was submerging. The explosion sends a shockwave that rocks the Minerva backwards while Archangel escapes - in the next episode the Archangel is sinking due to Tannhauser hitting one of their engines. So in a nut shell… I don't have a clue what happened… or how Kira miraculously survived all that. It just makes my brain hurt.

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Craze Izumi - Don't you just hate evil cliffhangers?

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RuByMoOn17 - Ah, I'm starting to turn into a KiraxShinnxAthrun fan girl thanks to many Japanese doujinshis.

Nevermore-Amaya - :Fidgets: How do you think I did with the angst/pain/confusion for this chapter? I really pictured a furious Shinn screaming at Kira, but I guess that could always come later.

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Spyrit Phoenyx - Nope this is where the AU really kicks - I can't remember if Lunamaria's ZAKU warrior was trashed beyond repair, but Athrun went off with it found the cockpit before Cagalli.

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ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice - I hope to keep the story around ten chapters though no more than twenty.


	6. Chapter 5

**Title: Pillow Talk (Chapter 5)**

**Author: **Tenohikari

**Fandom: **Gundam Seed Destiny

**Pairing: **Kira/Shinn (um... yay for non-existent pairings)

**Rating: **PG-13/R

**Warning: **A little AU-ish but there are spoilers for the series thus far and shounen ai/yaoi themed if you haven't gotten that from that pairing. Also the rating has gone up for this chapter for implied adult situations. Again, if this offends you in any way go BACK now.

**More warnings: **Sorry for the delay. This chapter was VERY rushed and un-betad, so all errors are my own (I guess it would double as a legal disclaimer, wouldn't it? No? Okay. Legal Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed Destiny. Gundammit.)

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**Chapter Five**

"Hello, this is Mayu! Sorry, but I'm not available right now. So please leave your name and number after the beep, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Ja matta ne!"

In the past, Shinn would have left a message despite knowing that his little sister would never respond to it. Now more than ever did he want to hear her voice - not just a recording - cheer him up when he was at his lowest. He needed the reassurance that everything would be all right. Maybe she could even give him sisterly advice, on his current dilemma. Now here Shinn was again, brooding in the darkness of his shared room, racking his brain, while staring at the pink cell phone that had belonged to his sister with the futile hope that it would ring.

Yet as the long months rolled into years, he grimly accepted the fact that despite he needed to stop dwelling on the past. Stop nursing the image of himself standing over the bodies of his parents and sister. A part of him desperately wanted to move on with his life, to once again open his heart to others. Like his comrades onboard the Minerva. Stellar. Kira.

What was he going to do? There was no sense in confronting Kira while he was unconscious, and most certainly not while Athrun was at his side. If possible, his frown darkened even more at the thought of the two of them together. He had learned from both Lunamaria and Rey, that Athrun, pilot of Justice, had fought alongside the Freedom. Alongside his Kira.

Comrades... Friends... Old lovers perhaps?

He clenched his teeth, throwing an arm across his face as if to obscure the mental image that was now assaulting his mind. He couldn't rid himself of the blood smears on the durasteel floor where Freedom's pilot had laid. Then there was the fear that he was losing Kira to the FAITH officer or worse, to death. As much as he wanted to go to the infirmary and shake an explanation from the brunette, Shinn didn't want to see Athrun there. Athrun protecting Kira from him.

Shinn squeezed his sister's last memento with white knuckles, before imbedding his face into a pillow. How many nights did he spend wishing that the fluffy softness was the lean form of his lover? He couldn't recall how many times his hand would brushed against the soft fabric, imagining it to be those familiar dark chocolate locks that he would twine them about his fingers. His thoughts didn't dare go further than just a simple touch. Not when his roommate was often awake in those ungodly hours of the night, just like he was now.

Cracking one weary red eye open, Shinn watched the blonde from where he lay, working diligently at the terminal. He never knew what kind of work Rey would be doing so late, but whatever it was seemed important. The other boy didn't even glance in his direction, when he got up and dressed to take a stroll around the ship.

Automatically his feet led him first towards the hanger for simulation practice; but then he turned away and headed somewhere else. It wasn't too long ago he had use to spend almost every hour of free time he had training himself to defeat his enemy. His enemy. His boyfriend.

God! It wasn't fair! Why did it all have to turn out like this? He had promised to protect Stellar. Despite killing so many people, she had remained innocent until her last breathe when she died in his arms. He had wanted to avenge her death - and it nearly cost him the life of another he cared for.

Why of all people - did Kira have to be the pilot of the Freedom? He lost count of how many times the laid together talking. Shinn had told his boyfriend that he was a mobile suit pilot. He had told him what he fought for, the tragedies of war, and his own losses. Kira would offer words of comfort, claiming he understood...

But all this time...

Shinn's face contorted into a scowl as he remembered that Atha woman and how the Freedom had protected her more than once. It had been Kira who had piloted such a formidable mobile and disarmed his Impulse in their first fight. The same Kira who had laid in bed with him and lied about it all!

Grinding his teeth together, the raven-haired boy vented his frustration on a nearby wall. Pounding against it with his fists until he finally broke into a sob. Luckily, the hallway was empty, not that he cared what people thought of him at the moment. Slowly, he sank to he knees, resting his forehead against the wall's hard surface as tears stained his cheeks.

The brunette had told him that he loved him not too long ago... but was that a lie too?

-----------------------

Kira decided it would probably be best if the ones holding him captive didn't know he was awake. He wasn't sure how long pretending to be asleep would fool them and from being interrogated. As he lay motionless with his wrists bound together, his mind was running a mile per minute. The teen knew he shouldn't depend on Athrun to get him out of this situation. Also Lacus and Waldfeld were now space and he wouldn't be able to get a hold of them.

What else could he do? The brunette didn't know how many people were watching him. He heard the quiet foot steps in the room, indicating that at least a nurse was present after the doctor had left. Was Athrun still sitting at his bedside? He couldn't start testing the limit of his restraints until he was alone. Even if he did manage to get free, what about security? He was unarmed and what if there were armed guards posted outside the door. What about Shinn, was he still waiting outside?

He would rather deal with the soldiers ready to gun him down then have to confront those accusing garnet eyes. Nothing in the world could prepare him for trying to confess to his lover, that he had lied to him from day one. If he hadn't a prisoner of war trying to appear unconscious, Kira would have frowned. How was he going to convince Shinn that his true feelings weren't false as well? How would he be able to explain his reasons to the pilot Impulse who saw him as an enemy and defeated him in battle.

Which reminded Kira again that even if he was lucky enough to escape the infirmery, passed armed ZAFT soldiers, and managed to find the ship's hanger, hijack a mobile suit; how was he going to get to ORB with Minerva on his tail? The battleship was very much like the Archangel and for all he knew they could be underwater, or in space, or somewhere stationed with literally hundreds of ZAFT mobile suits and ships waiting to shoot him down.

_"Looks like you're screwed, Yamato," _Kira grudgingly had to admit. He just had to hold out as long as he could until friends in high places could come to his rescue. Unless of course his captives planned on executing him.

Automatically, he held his breath upon hearing the doors open briefly, before closing shut. Did someone leave or enter? Kira couldn't tell with his eyes closed. There was no longer the sound of footsteps echoing across linoleum which meant that the medical staff was probably on break or done for the day. Day? Night? He wasn't sure of the time, he had counted the seconds from the moment he had awoken, and had pretended to be asleep for almost an hour.

It was only did he hear the voice of his best friend, did he exhale.

"You can open your eyes, Kira," Athrun spoke softly, "It's just us."

At the other teenager's reassuring tone, the brunette dared to slowly crack one eye open. He cautiously scanned the room, just in case, before glancing over at Athrun sitting at his bedside. The other coordinator was staring down at him and his lips twitched into a tiny smile of relief.

"How did you know I was awake?" he rasped before trying to clear his throat.

Athrun reached backwards to retrieve a cup sitting on the counter behind him. "You normally sleep with your mouth open," he informed him, while tilting the cup down a bit. Allowing Kira to drink the cool water and letting it ease his parched throat.

"Do I?" Kira asked afterwards, licking his lips while Athrun drew away. "I wouldn't know since I'm asleep when it happens and..." he trailed off and remembered while he was sedated. "The Archangel..."

"Got away."

Relief washed over him like balm. His sister and comrades had managed to escape as his friend explained that one of the ships' engines were deployed to fool them into thinking it had sunk. After an investigation, they had learned the truth and the "legged ship" was most likely heading back to ORB.

Cagalli was going to be furious with him. This was probably the third time she was going to believe him dead.

"Look, Kira," Athrun began in a hushed voice that immediately alerted the brunette to pay attention. "The Mineva is heading towards Gibraltar. I don't think Captain Gladys has reported that we captured a member of the Clyne Faction yet..."

The Clyne Faction. Lacus. Kira's eyes narrowed, were they going to use him to get to her somehow? Over his dead body! They may not have had a romantic relationship like everyone had believed they did at first; but they were rather close. She was his friend and he would do nothing to put her in danger. Too many people depended and adored 'Lacus-sama', and if anything were to happen, the imposter would take over her place permanently.

"...I'm going to make some arrangements," the former pilot of the SAVIOR Gundam told him. "To help you escape."

"How?"

"Some old teammates of mine owe me a favor."

Old teammates...? Kira then instantly remembered his conversation with Milly back in Diocuia. Dearka Elthman was going to help him?

"So just sit tight and don't try anything. I mean it, Kira!" Athrun hissed, grasping his shoulders and shook him. "If you try to escape on your own, they won't hesitate to kill you. So promise me! Just stay here in the infirmary and try not to draw any attention to yourself."

The other boy begin to feel dizzy when his friend continued to shake him, and wouldn't stop until he answered. "I promise... but." He sighed thankfully when Athrun finally stopped. "Athrun, why can't you come with me? You don't belong here with them."

Kira blinked at the sudden deja vu those words had caused. It reminded him so much of the other's request when they fought each other in the first war. Now he was asking Athrun to abandon his comrades...

_Shinn. _

His stomach growled, breaking the tense silence. Kira looked sheepishly back at his friend who only smirked. Relieved of the sudden change of subject.

"I'll go get you something to eat. The doctor won't be back until later and the security outside won't respond to any of your requests, so is there anything you need before I go?"

He held up his arms. "I don't suppose you could remove my restraints? They kind of itch." Listening to his friend snort and mumble that he would be back soon, Kira felt a little relaxed. Despite their past arguments, his friendship with Athrun would hopefully keep him from rotting in prison or executed.

However, Gibraltar is a ZAFT base situated on the extreme southern tip of Spain. Even with Dearka's help they were surrounded by PLANT's military, not to mention the Mediterranean Sea. It short, it would be no easy task, and he didn't know what his role would be in the escape plan. He didn't want to be a burden to hid allies; but Without the Freedom, how was he going to fight his battles properly?

-----------------------

After washing his face of the embarrassing tear stains, Shinn wandered the halls again until his body reminded him that he hadn't eaten since the morning he defeated the Freedom. He wasn't sure if he could hold anything down though. Especially when he overheard some of the nurses gossip to each other how handsome the prisoner was, or how Athrun never left his side. It just made him nauseous.

Shinn was just about to head back to his room until his eye caught the sight of another red uniform. Quickly he sidestepped into another corridor and watched with a glare on his face, Athrun Zala walk pass him. The older boy looked to be in deep thought, he didn't even lift his head to acknowledge him.

He grounded his teeth together and resisted the urge to say something vile to the other pilor. Shinn wouldn't physically assault an superior officer, but he wouldn't hold back verbally. If the prisoner hadn't been his Kira, he would have remarked how Athrun had abused his power and didn't deserve to be in FAITH. However, a part of him was grateful that Athrun had done so, or Kira may have died and he would have never known what had become of him. Still...

_'It should have been me.'_

Then it quickly occurred to him that Athrun was walking away from the infirmary. Was Kira alone? No, the doctor and nurses would still be there, not to mention the guards. Still ... it wouldn't hurt to see what condition the brunette was in now.

At first he tried to walk casually towards the section of the ship the pilot of the Freedom was located at. The prisoner. Before he knew it, he had practically been sprinting down the hallways at the thought of actually talking to his lover. Who could finally explain himself and his actions. To give Shinn the answers he desperately needed to know before the questions drove him mad.

_Do you really love me? _

He quickly came to a quiet halt, peered around the corner and couldn't believe his luck. The guards that had been stationed at the door were gone! Although they're absence would have worried him, he didn't waste any time to check around and enter the room carefully. Good fortune seemed to be his that day, for not only was Athrun, the guards gone; but the medical staff as well.

Leaving only Kira alone in the room. Though good fortune didn't last long as Shinn noted that his lover was unconscious. His excitement was replaced with disappointment that he wouldn't be able to get his answers after all. Still... since he was here. Cautiously he approached the bed, holding his breath as he reached out with trembling fingers to caress those chocolate locks.

_'So soft and beautiful. I can't believe he's here... I can't believe this is really happening.'_

It was as if they were back in ORB all over again. There first night together, he had been unable to sleep. All he could do was watch his lover while he slept, mesmerized by his gentle features. He used to stay up for hours, until dawn even, studying the person who had changed his life. His fate.

Growing bolder, he trailed his hand alongside the other coordinator's face, stopping when he gently pressed the tips of his fingers mouth. How many times had Kira kissed him with those soft-as-silk parted lips? How many times did his whisper words of endearment into his ear?

"Shinn."

He was startled to look up quickly to see amethyst eyes looking back at him. How long had he been awake? Did the doctor or Athrun know? Those were questions Shinn should have been thinking but staring back at the older coordinator now who, despite the bandages wrapped around his arm and forehead - looked completely fine.

Better than Stellar had the two times he had pulled her out of a mobile suit cockpit. Stellar. Shinn gritted his teeth, reluctantly pulling his hand back and stepped away. He averted his eyes from Kira's and remembered why he was here.

"Tell me..." he managed, several seconds later. "Tell me who you really are."

Kira wished he could have anticipated this moment earlier so he could calmly explain everything to Shinn, rather sitting there with his mouth hanging open. He wasn't surprised to hear such a request. What probably shocked him the most was how composed the younger boy seemed to be right now. He had expected Shinn to yell at him in anger. To curse him for his lies. To cry at being decieved in such a way. As he moved into a sitting position, he saw Shinn tense for a moment, before trying to read his body language. He could see it with the way fiery red eyes scrutinized him, burning into his skin.

Swallowing hard, Kira decided to stare at his bound arms instead. Reminding himself that he didn't have much time to explain. Athrun would be back soon and as soon as they arrived Gibraltar, he was hopefully getting off this ship. Whether to be rescued or condemned; he may not have the opportunity to talk to Shinn like this again.

"I am... who I told you I was," he started out awkwardly. "I'm Kira Yamato."

"You didn't tell me you were a soldier."

"I'm not," Kira protested, "Not anymore anyway."

"Anymore?"

"I... I used to be a soldier for the Earth Alliance."

Shinn frowned darkly, quickly folding his arms across his chest before he could use them to do anything he might regret later. He hated the Earth Alliance as much as ORB. They were, after all, responsible for the death of his family and Stellar ... and Kira fought for both of them! Didn't he know about Logos and how the Blue Cosmos wanted to wipe them all out!

"Two years ago," Kira added quickly as he saw the furious storm brewing in the other's heated glare. "Only because I wanted to protect my friends who were Naturals. The Archangel had defected and formed an alliance with ORB and the Clyne-Faction. We don't wish for violence, that last thing I wanted to do was fight again, but I know it's necessary to bring peace - for all sides: Plant, Earth, and everyone caught in the crossfire."

"I didn't want to lie to you at ORB, Shinn," he continued. "It was just that after the war, before I met you, I haven't done anything with my life."

Kira had lost count of all the times he spent sitting on the porch. His gaze fixed only on the unchanging, never-ending, ocean. All his dreams when he had been an naive tech student were gone. Washed away with tides of war. All his potential as an Ultimate Coordinator was stored up, hopefully never to see the light of day. He didn't want others to know the origin of his birth. Unlike George Glenn, who revealed the secret of his life's success as the first coordinator in history, which had eventually led to this war. Kira didn't even want to imagine the chaos his secret would cause.

"Unlike my friends who were able to move on with their lives, I was still stuck in the past, and was ashamed of it."

He finally looked up to meet his boyfriend's gaze, hoping at least that Shinn would believe him.

"Why didn't you ever tell me when we were together?" Shinn wanted to know with a note of desperation. "You didn't trust me?"

"It wasn't about trust."

"It wasn't?"

"I wanted to..." the brunette spoke softly, "whenever we had our pillow talks, I really wanted to tell you everything. Those moments we had together were wonderful; but short and I didn't want to ruin them. I didn't want to loose you..."

Kira felt an invisible hand tighten around his throat when he saw the look of doubt and conflict on the other's face. "Or fight you," he continued, "or hurt you in anyway. But if I told you about me and my affiliation, I would have been putting my allies in danger."

"Then it is about trust!" Shinn nearly yelled. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down and lowered his voice. "You thought I would use you-"

"No."

The sudden answer stunned Shinn into silence, as Kira shook his head and hardened his gaze.

"No," he repeated with a softer tone, "I wasn't worried about what you would do, Shinn. I do trust you, and Athrun; but I couldn't afford to tell either of you anything, because of who you're both affiliated with."

_"You and I are both driven by our goals, and I do believe that we fight for the same reasons, just for different people. Different causes."_

"Who?"

"Gilbert Dullindal."

-----------------------

After her most recent concert - which involved more singing and dancing, followed shortly by another serious speech of encouraging hope and peace; Meer Campbell was exhausted. It just wasn't easy being PLANT'S princess, Lacus Clyne. Fortunatly the long flight to Gibraltar would allow her some time for some much needed shut eye. Yet her excitement to see Athrun again, the one whom she considered to be a close (even if it probably wasn't mutual) friend and shared her secret.

She couldn't wait to tell him all the exciting things that have been going on at PLANT. Even though he probably wouldn't be interested, Athrun would smile and listen like the gentleman he was. Meer also wanted to know how he had been fairing as well. It was a pity they couldn't email each another, but she knew the fighting must have kept him busy. At least now they would have a chance to catch up... that is if she could get some sleep.

Glancing up front her laptop, where she listened to music and typed almost endlessly about the day's events in her diary, the songstress saw that she wasn't only one awake. The Chairman of PLANT seated before her, and was also working, though it appeared he was talking to someone. Worried that he may have been talking to her, Meer quickly lowered the volume of the song she was listening to, so that she would be able to hear him with the earphones still in.

Much to her relief, he had not been speaking directly to her. For Meer heard two voices in conversation, one of course was the Chairman, the other belonged to the person he was speaking with on his laptop's screen. Shrugging, she was about to turn the volume of her newest demo back up, until Athrun's name was mentioned.

"This is a rather unexpected development," the older man mused but did not sound at all upset by it. "After all the Savior unit was destroyed by that person."

Meer's eyes widened, and she managed to stop herself from vocalizing her shock by placing a hand over her mouth. Athrun was defeated and the Savior Gundam was destroyed? How was that possible, he was supposed to be the best!

"Shall I take care of this problem?" a young man's voice asked.

"No," the Chairman responded immediately, "Just continue to monitor them until the Minerva reaches Gibraltar. I will deal with him myself."

_Who? _The idol wonders to herself. Athrun? Would he be punished for his defeat?

"I understand."

The conversation ended right after that, and Meer watched the Chairmain recline back in his seat. A smile spreads over Dullindal's pale face, and it's not the charmingly friendly one she is used to seeing. The one that she sometimes thinks, is just for show.

"It's time that Kira Yamato and I, meet face to face."

**-----------------------------------**

**Author's Notes: **

Sorry for the long delay. Ever since my nephew was born I've been spending most of my freetime babysitting. Writer's block is also ( responsible (as it always is). Again, this story is unbetad, I just finished it today, eventhough I SHOULD be studying for my finals 

Feed me reviews!


	7. Chapter 6

**Title: Pillow Talk (Chapter 6)**

**Author: **Tenohikari

**Fandom: **Gundam Seed Destiny

**Pairing: **Kira/Shinn (um... yay for non-existent pairings)

**Rating: **PG-13/R

**Warning: **A little AU-ish but there are spoilers for the series thus far and shounen ai/yaoi themed if you haven't gotten that from that pairing. Also the rating has gone up for this chapter for implied adult situations. Again, if this offends you in any way go BACK now.

**Disclaimer: **An old Chinese proverb once said that I don't own Gundam Seed.

UN-BETAD. WOE.

**-----------------------------------**

**Chapter Six**

When Athrun returned to the infirmary room, he was surprised that Kira, their prisoner, was sitting up in bed. Which was odd because before he left, less than ten minutes ago, the brunette had pretended to be unconscious. What had happened?

As he approached his friend, the ZAFT pilot noted how flushed the other's face looked and worry crept into his features. What was wrong? Was Kira sick? Kira never got sick. Placing the try of food down on the bedside chair, he approached Kira and frowned at the lack of response to his arrival.

"Kira."

Upon hearing his name, the other coordinator awoke from his trance and looked up at his best friend. Kira stiffened upon feeling a warm hand press against his forehead. He flushed even more when Athrun leaned in and was reminded of another 'close' encounter, one that left him in a feverish state.

Shinn hadn't stayed long, but before he left, the pilot of the Impulse, had given him a rather nice goodbye. His lips were still tingling from where the other boy had boldly kissed him. Of all the things he had imagined his lover would do, it certainly wasn't that!

"Well you don't have a fever," Athrun remarked and pulled away. "What's the matter?"

Averting his violet eyes, Kira shrugged.

"Nothing."

Such an obvious lie. Athrun frowned and then remembering that there had been a different pair of guards at the door. Now that he looked at the other boy again, and noted some other changes. For instance, Kira's bottom lip looked bruised, like he had bitten down on it.

"What really happened?" he asked again, nodding toward Kira, eyes fixated on his mouth.

Blushing, the older boy's mind was racing for a suitable excuse. He opened mouth and wasn't at all surprised when nothing coherent came out. Instead he pulled absently on his restraints once again, and winced how his skin stung whenever the unforgiving metal of the handcuffs dug into it - which had happened quite often when Shinn had been in the room.

It wasn't long before Athrun took in the clues and pieced them all together. Fortunately for the brunette, he came up with the wrong conclusion. Then received a good whap on the back of the head.

"Ittai..." he moaned.

"You were trying to escape, weren't you!"

Kira awkwardly tried to rub his injury while smiling sheepishly at Athrun, Wondering how his best friend would react to the truth. That he was in love with Athrun's subordinate, foolishly sneaking around right under his nose. Not only in cities that Minerva docked, but onboard the ship itself. His body and soul still yearned for Shinn, to break out of his restraints and take off to go find him. Their time together had been so short and fleeting. Shinn still hadn't forgiven him the deceit (not that Kira had been expecting him to that moment), but he didn't hate Kira for it.

No more apologies or explanations were given, they had simply spent their last few moments together in each other's embrace, sharing one long breath-taking kiss before parting. Though before Shinn had reluctantly stepped away, the brunette hadn't missed the hardened look of determination on his youthful face. Kira morbidly wondered if that was the same look Shinn had on when they had been enemies.

He shuddered and tried to pay more attention to Athrun who was still berating him, and prayed they wouldn't have to fight like that again.

-----------------------------------

Ever since Athrun had returned with the pilot of Freedom, the crew of the Minerva couldn't stop talking about it. Sometimes in hushed voices from one person to another in walkways. Or broadcasted out loud to a crowd of people in a room, like Meyrin was doing right at the moment.

Being the only Combat Information Control Officer among the young group of soldiers, she eagerly relayed what had happened. Meyrin explained by doing a dead-on impersonation of Athrun, when he strode into the control room, calm and collected, and demanded to go out with the ZAKU warrior.

She didn't even fail to mention the relief in his voice when he announced his discovery over the radio.

Normally, Lunamaria would have chastised her little sister for assuming too much, that is if she hadn't already known about Athrun's feelings herself. It bothered her that there was so much he carried on his shoulders, and yet he didn't want to share the burden with anyone. But really, how could he expect them to trust him as a leader - to go to him for support, if he wouldn't do the same?

All of a sudden, the conversation had ceased Lunamaria turned her head to see the reason for the abrupt silence, step into the cafeteria. Immediately, Youlan and Vino start talking animatedly over one of (the fake) Lacus Clyne's recent concert. While Meyrin ducked her head down - somehow finding the bubbles in her diet soda to be fascinating.

Shinn may have most likely heard the whole 'Athrun' conversation, but he simply walked passed their table without burning someone with the snappish flare of his bad temper. When he returned, minutes later, with his breakfast in hand, he just sat beside Rey and began to eat quietly. It was odd really, since the first time their captain disciplined him, via a blow to the face; Shinn had been bad-mouthing him non-stop. Now, there was nothing but silence, and they were also a little bewildered by the humbled expression on his face.

What had happened? Lunamaria wondered. Had he talked to Athrun and resolved their differences? Sure it was a lot to hope for, but she couldn't help but be a little curious.

"Ne, Shinn?" she began hesitantly.

With a spoon of oatmeal halfway to his mouth, Shinn tiredly lifted his head to look at his teammate. He really hoped she wasn't planning on lecturing him again, or get him to try to reconcile with their commanding officer. Just thinking of Athrun caused him to grip the eating utensil in his hand, to the point where he actually felt the steel bend in his grip. If only he had the power to bend all things to his will, to keep his promises and make his wishes come true.

"What is it?" he asked finally, after relinquishing his hold on the now deformed looking spoon.

Altough Shinn was looking directly at Lunamaria, he didn't miss the fact that everyone at the table was looking at him oddly. He shrugged. It shouldn't have been anything new, for Shinn normally took out his aggressions on disposable beverage containers or a nearby wall. Perhaps it was how eerily calm Shinn's voice sounded to his own ears when he asked his next question.

"Is it about, Athrun?"

The surprised look on her face quickly informed him that it was, and Shinn snorted in disgust. When has it never been about Athrun? Sure he himself had looked up to the veteran pilot as their team leader and for a short time, as a friend. Yet now that he was out of action, Athrun just seemed to bitch more than usual, riding on Shinn's last nerves.

Athrun didn't deserved to be in FAITH. He didn't deserve to be embraced by ZAFT after turning his back on them. Most of all, he didn't deserve to be so close to his Kira.

"Then, I don't want to hear it, Luna!" he said through clenched teeth and suddenly jumped to his feet, startling the occupants of the table. Shinn heard the older girl stutter something inaudible but chose to ignore it, as he picked up his breakfast to take to his room.

Friendly conversation resumed out once more after the departure of the Impulse's pilot. Lunamaria huffed in annoyance at Shinn's immaturity while Rey inwardly shook his head at her boldness. Really, it just wasn't wise to poke the lion shortly after being denied it's kill.

He could understand Shinn's frustration quite well. After all their planning and training to defeat the Freedom, the pilot of that once formidable mobile suit still drew breath. Almost mocking them with his existence. Then again, it was always that way.

Quietly excusing himself, Rey left the room and opted for a more quiet one, where he could allow himself the rare opportunity of letting his mind drift and become lost in his memories. Normally that place was his shared room. Yet since Shinn also needed his space for now, the shooting range would have to do.

The hauntingly familiar image of a blonde masked man suddenly came to mind, and the teenager had to suppress his emotions and gave the passing Captain Gladys and Executive Officer Trine a brief salute.

Never let them see.

It was only when he reached his destination, with a gun in hand, did Rey allow himself to vent. Letting the bullets voice his frustrations out for him as they hit the target with perfect accuracy. He didn't miss his mark, not even once, and was rewarded by silence. As he reloaded, Rey wondered why this bothered him. Perhaps he had grown accustomed to his teammates. Even though he kept quietly to himself, the ZAKU Phantom pilot was just used to them being around, whether practicing or chatting idly by. At least... Shinn would have been there.

After a few more rounds, Rey began to wonder about his impulsive teammate. Perhaps the younger boy was resting right now? After all, he was wandering the ship for pretty much the whole night. It wasn't anything new to Rey, for Shinn often wandered around when plagued with insomnia.

If only that person had died; would not only Shinn be able to sleep easily, but him as well.

"This too," he hissed quietly, aiming at the target, "is all your fault."

-----------------------------------

The possibly only upside to being second in command onboard the ZAFT ship Voltaire, was that he could read the newest issue of Playboy - for the articles, really! - without being reprimanded. It was a rather short upside because being second meant that you weren't first, and that special rank went to Commander Yzak Jule. It wasn't easy being a subordinate of a total rule Nazi, but he had managed to get away with a couple things.

When red-coat Shiho Hahnenfuss stepped onto the bridge, and shot him a warning look, he knew he had a snow ball's chance of getting away when all hell was about to be unleashed. All off duty personnel in the room had quickly excused themselves; Dearka Elthman, being both Commander Jule's second and loyal friend, wished that his ear-drums could have gone with them. He sighed and nodded back to the girl, who too made a haste departure, before flipping away at the dirty magazine.

Not even a minute later, the confident commander of the Voltaire and honorable veteran pilot of Yakin Due, came stomping into the nearly empty room. Face flushed, lips twisted into a snarl, and there was a furious storm was brewing in those once calm dark blue eyes; the others that had fled would have cringed at the sight of their young leader's face. Anyone would have been intimidated by such a look, but Dearka had grown used to it overtime. He also had been expecting this reaction after he had checked his terminal earlier that day, and nearly pinched himself upon reading Athrun's message.

"Do you know what that bastard wants me to do!"

The blonde didn't dare play dumb, as moved out of his reclined position and sat forward in his seat. "I got the message from him as well."

"Hrmph! The nerve!"

Dearka waited for his hot-tempered to curse their former team-mate, then contact the FAITH soldier, and scream at him until his voice was hoarse. When that didn't happen after a long uncomfortable silence, he looked up from the page he was on, to see that his hot-tempered commander was pacing and trying to compose himself. Dearka nearly gaped. Was Yzak really thinking about it before breaking something or swearing at the top of his lungs?

"So..." Dearka began with caution, just in case this sudden gain of self-control was a fluke. "Are we going to just ignore it?"

They both looked at each other with conflicted expressions. After all, this was a request from their former teammate. Sure neither Zala nor Jule would ever be the best friends but there camaraderie would exist between them. Yzak would no sooner shave himself bald than admit that he respected both his rivals.

Athrun Zala.

Kira Yamato.

"Inform Hahnenfuss that we're leaving, I'll make up some excuse."

Dearka nearly fell out of his chair at the other coordinator's unusual cool demeanor.

"Yzak?"

The once mobile suit pilot of the DUEL Gundam shrugged and looked away.

"I pay back my debts."

And that was the end of it.

-----------------------------------

As Kira dressed in the civilian clothes provided by Athrun, he mentally prepared himself for the confrontation with the Captain of the Minerva. It wasn't the first time he was interrogated before, he distantly remembered being in a similar situation on the Archangel. After aiding Lacus Clyne, he had returned to accept his punishment, had he been an official Earth soldier, it would have been death.

Pulling a new clean shirt over his head, the prisoner stood up and met Athrun's gaze evenly. Kira was a little relieved at the concern and yet calm look on the other teenager's face. Wondering if Athrun had found away to help him; Kira blinked inquisitively, hoping that his long time friend could still read his body language.

Lips pressed in a thin line, emerald eyes seemed to smile at him in response. Kira then presented both his arms, and allowed the red-coat soldier to put on his restraints once more. He was surprised though at how astonished those who were present looked. Both the nurse and the doctor seemed to expect violent behavior as they lowered their weapons; it was as if they assumed he would leap forward and strangle them.

Grasping his arm firmly, Athrun bound both limbs behind his back, before leading him towards the door where more armed escorts waited outside. Receiving a curt nod from his friend, Kira followed him as he was being guided to some other location within the Minerva. Though as they walked, the Freedom pilot kept his violet eyes lowered to avoid the cold and questioning looks of the observers who murmured from the sides.

"- He really is just a kid -"

"- Is he a Natural? - "

"- There's no chance - "

It was nothing Kira hadn't heard before when he had been the only Coordinator on a battleship, fighting alongside a crew of Naturals. Yet now he was on the other side. Despite his efforts, he was their enemy. As well as...

"Shinn," Athrun spoke suddenly, "get out of the way."

Kira, against his better judgment, lifted his head at the mention of his secret lover's name. He had hoped that Shinn would keep his distance after their last encounter. He didn't want to get the young pilot into any trouble after the drama he had put them both through.

"What's going on?" Shinn asked instead. Those garnet orbs locked onto Kira instantly before noting the soldiers with their guns standing behind him.

Athrun clearly looked irritated with his subordinate as green eyes narrowed at the lack of Shinn's compliance. "The prisoner is being taken to the Captain. Now step aside, Shinn. This doesn't concern you."

Inwardly, the brunet winced as the floor suddenly became interesting again. The tension between his best friend and his boyfriend was so thick, Kira could cut it with a knife. He knew from Shinn himself that most, if not all, of his superior officers pushed his buttons; and could almost see the younger coordinator grinding his teeth into dust. Reluctantly, Shinn did as he was told, his eyes never leaving Kira as he watched them walk pass him.

He would have sighed in relief when they finally reached a hall with no more onlookers, if it hadn't been for the fact that they had reached their destination. Kira almost dreadfully watched his friend step up and press a button on the terminal next to the door.

"Yes?" a woman's voice asked.

"Athrun Zala speaking, Captain. I have brought the prisoner."

"Very good. You may enter."

The guards that escorted them, took their place by the door as Kira followed the other soldier through it. Inside the Captain's cabin, a tall blonde woman in white and black uniform stood behind a desk in the center of the room. Kira blinked and thought that she was probably close to Murrue Ramius' age, well she certainly looked it. The captain glanced up from a file she had been viewing, before closing it before taking sitting down.

"I am Captain Talia Gladys of the naval space vessel: The Minerva, and who may I be addressing, please?"

"Kira Yamato," he answered automatically and impressed that his voice didn't waver.

"Rank?"

"I am a Second Lieutenant in ORB."

From the corner of his eye, he could have sworn Athrun almost did a double take. Even though his twin was the Country's monarch; Second Lieutenant was the lowest commissioned rank in Orb's armed forces. Not that Kira really cared, after all he didn't mind the lowly rank of Ensign being apart of the Earth Alliance. What mattered most was that he was a mobile suit pilot and one who had enough leeway to take action.

"And for confirmation, you are also the pilot for the ZGMF-X10A Freedom, correct?"

"Yes," Kira nodded solemnly as he added, "I was."

After all, whatever was left of that Mobile Suit was probably drifting along the sea waves.

"Allow me to get straight to the point, Lieutenant Yamato" Captain Gladys continued as she stared at both young men before her. "The Chairman himself is offering to grant you immunity from prosecution at Gibraltar."

Athrun did react this time as he step forward, nearly gaping in hopeful disbelief. "Captain, is this true? Kira will be released?"

Gladys looked a little amused by the other FAITH officer's outburst. "I am not sure about all of the details myself, but yes. However, there is a condition."

Kira felt his heart join the rest of his Gundam, on the ocean floor. Only one name came to mind when he thought about what the condition might be: Lacus. She was the leader of the Clyne faction after all, and the target of those Coordinator Assassins in ORB. If Dullindal himself was involved with that incident, then it was entirely possible to use Kira to get to her.

"And, what condition is that?"

"He wants to meet with you in person."

-----------------------------------

Meer couldn't help but fidget in her seat within the Chairman's office. No sooner when they arrived at Gibraltar, Dullindal invited her to wait with them for the Minerva's arrival. She agreed, although not really having a choice, since Athrun would be coming. Yet now the silence was getting to her, but she held her tongue, from humming or making any kind of conversation. For the Chairman seemed preoccupied with something.

Sighing quietly, Meer allowed her eyes to wander about her surroundings. Chairman Dullindal's office was as neat and sterile as a catalog display;

it was orderly, almost to a fault. Not one piece of furniture was out of place. All portraits and framed photographs alike, were mounted upon the wall flawlessly. There were no visible wrinkles on the elegant looking curtains that matched the tone of the plush carpet - which was also void of any scuffs, tread marks, or any other imperfections.

The idol risked a glance over at her benefactor as he set the beverage he had been drinking on the table. Without even looking, he had placed the mug of coffee was placed in the exact center of the coaster. Everything within the room was as meticulous and pristine as Gilbert Dullindal himself. Everything, including her.

A ring from the telephone finally interrupted the silence, as Dullindal turned the speaker on.

"Chairman Dullindal, sir, the Minerva will be arriving in ten minutes."

A smile adorned his face as Dullindal picked up a small box that had been sitting on his desk before standing. He walked over towards the door and placed his long coat on. With a small wave, he beckoned Meer to his side, and without a word, she obediently followed. Yet before they left, he had opened the box to check its contents before nodding to himself. Meer had turned quickly enough to see what it was before being tucked away into his pocket.

_'Who?' _the Lacus Clyne impersonator wondered to herself, _'Who was going to be promoted into FAITH?'_

-----------------------------------

**TO MY BETA-READER: **Please let me know if you're still alive and if you don't mind beta-ing these chapters. If you don't feel up to it anymore (of if you're dead) let me know either way.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **WOW that was one long writer's block. Yet the reviews kept me going. I swear I'm not a review whore.


	8. Chapter 7

**Title: Pillow Talk (Chapter 7)**

**Author: **Tenohikari

**Fandom: **Gundam Seed Destiny

**Pairing: **Kira/Shinn (um... yay for non-existent pairings)

**Rating: **PG-13/R

**Warning: **A little AU-ish but there are spoilers for the series thus far and shounen ai/yaoi themed if you haven't gotten that from that pairing. Also the rating has gone up for this chapter for implied adult situations. Again, if this offends you in any way go BACK now.

**Disclaimer: **An old Chinese proverb once said that I don't own Gundam Seed.

UN-BETAD. WOE.

-----------------------------------

**Chapter Seven**

"It's going to rain tonight."

"Huh?"

Despite the steady noise that came from their land transport's engine; Athrun had managed to hear his friend nearly inaudible statement. Without any access to electronics aboard the Minerva and being isolated from nearly all of the crew, how was Kira so certain? Looking up at the cloudless clear blue afternoon sky for a moment, Athrun then stared at his friend, whose violet eyes haven't left it.

"How do you know?"

Kira shrugged. "I can't explain it. living on Earth for awhile, you can just feel it. I can tell it's going to rain by the way it smells."

Without thinking, Athrun took a second to inhale. Unlike the PLANT's simulated weather, the scent rain on Earth was very complex because it was not a single set of odors. The odor of rain he had been familiar with was very distinct (like asphalt), whereas on Earth, it varied. At land at last, the air felt cool and moist, and among their transport's exhaust fumes, he could smell salt of the Mediterranean.

"Are you sure it's not the sea water messing with your senses?"

"I don't think so."

Kira resumed looking upwards, as if he alone could see the gathering gray storm clouds that Athrun could not. Or perhaps, it was the way Kira was staring up at the sky, as if to ask the powers that be for some kind of solution; that made Athrun worry. About what, he wasn't sure of. The Archangel?

"Kira?"

A weary "Hmm?" was his reply.

"Is there... is there something you want to tell me?"

The former Freedom pilot couldn't help but look down suddenly. He wasn't prepared to answer such a question even though he knew it was coming the moment he woke up in the infirmary. Yet how would he answer? What could he say? Now that they were at Gibraltar, who knew when they would be able to speak freely like this? Though there was one matter he wanted to clear up while he had the chance.

"Shinn," Kira began cautiously knowing that if he were to look up, he would see green eyes narrowed in anger. "Go easy on him, okay? None of this is his fault."

He was glad that he didn't look up to see the bewilderment on Athrun's face. "What are you talking about, Kira? You don't even know him."

_'You're wrong,' _Kira wished he could say out loud_. 'It was Shinn who didn't even know me, and I hurt him. He has a right to his anger, he has a right to hate me. He should hate me, even if I -'_

"We're here," their driver announced, interrupting Kira's thoughts and alerting both boys that their time for friendly conversation was up.

The jeep pulled to a stop outside and Kira blinked in confusion when he turned and faced the building that had a striking resemblance to a five star hotel. Whatever the tall building was, it certainly didn't look like the headquarters for ZAFT. Though, Kira considered, the building looked like a place where an important man like Gilbert Dullindal would reside in when he wasn't on PLANT. There were probably soldiers everywhere, even in civilian guise.

Following Athrun out of the vehicle, both of them were surprised when the soldier sitting beside the driver approached Kira with a key. With it, he freed the prisoner's bound arms and stepped back. Before they could question his actions, the man pointed towards the side entrance of the building.

"The Chairman's orders," he explained briefly, "He's expecting both of you inside."

Bewildered by this, they nodded and turned to face the double doors. Feeling the soldiers' eyes on him - not to mention the weapons they were probably concealing - Kira walked stiffly into the enemy's den followed by Athrun. Only to discover that the Chairman was nowhere in sight. There was a lot of people in the lobby. Crowds of soldiers, civilians, soldiers dressed in civilian clothing; all of them walking, talking, and sitting about. It was when Kira saw a couple bell boys and the check in counter, did he confirm that this was indeed a hotel.

He glanced over to his best friend, and was about to ask if this was a part of his plan; when a high pitched, and eerily familiar voice called out.

"Athrun!"

Kira heard the said boy groan quietly and glanced over to the source of his sudden discomfort. Rushing down the steps from the lounge area, was Lacus Clyne. Kira frowned to himself. It was the very same 'Lacus Clyne' he had watched perform in a televised concert, while he was standing next to the real one. This girl did resemble Lacus greatly. Except for the golden star hair clip, her slightly younger appearance, and the fact she was very well endowed in that area. He had never seen anything, other than a Haro toy, bounce like that...

'Stop staring!' he mind screamed at him. Kira forced himself to keep his eyes on her face, Lacus' face, and somehow thinking of his friend added more discomfort. She would sooner or later hear about the Freedom Gundam's destruction. Already, his heart constricted as he pictured her crying over his demise by herself. She hid her pain too well.

'So,' Kira mused as he silently watched Athrun stutter while trying to free himself, 'this must be the fiancée that Shinn mentioned.'

Though this one seemed younger and child-like, the way she glomp-tackled Athrun.

"Mee... Lacus," Athrun hissed and kept his voice just below a whisper, "You're making a scene, so stop."

It was as if he were scolding a child. Reluctantly, 'Lacus' obeyed though still smiling with adoration, while Kira shot his friend a disbelieving look. Athrun was good friends with the real one, how could go along with this farce? If it wasn't for the fact that he was probably being monitored and needed Athrun's help, he would have given his friend a nasty piece of his mind.

Oblivious to her Athrun's anxiety and his unknown companion's frown, Meer looped her arm around the Faith soldier's, and proceeded to guide him towards the elevator. As he wordlessly complied, she turned to smile at Kira as an invitation to come with them. He shifted uncomfortably, trying hard not to address this girl as he would his friend. He said nothing, merely nodding his head as he followed along.

-----------------------------------

Onboard the Minerva, Shinn was trying his hardest not to tear the battle ship apart from the inside. It was over thirty minutes ago since he saw Athrun taken the prisoner to the Captain's cabin, and another thirty minutes since they docked at Gibraltar. How much longer was it going to be, until he could find out that was going on?

_'Calm down,' _the rational part of his brain spoke out, _'Athrun will try to help Kira get out of this situation. He is in FAITH after all, so there must be something he can do.' _

Shinn seethed a little. Something only Athrun could do, but not him. It was infuriating! Yet could Shinn trust Athrun with Kira's safety? He wanted to believe so. Athrun wasn't like that promise-breaking bastard Neo after all. Shinn scowled and ignored the call of his teammates as they approached him.

"Shinn, aren't you coming?" Lunamaria asked as he looked up sharply, glanced at their baggage, before looking away. "We have permission to get off and go check in."

Check in? Of course. They were at a ZAFT base after all, for probably a couple days, maybe more.

"I'm going to stay back and wait a little bit," he said dismissively. "I need to talk to Athrun."

It wasn't a lie, he did want to talk to Athrun and let him know he wasn't going to try and kill his best friend again. He wanted to help. He wanted to tell him their secret and hope he'll be able to stand beside Kira no matter what happened.

"But Athrun-san left already, Shinn."

He spun around quickly on his heel, his fierce gaze locked on Lunamaria's little sister.

"What did you say?!"

Meyrin Hawk let out a terrified squeak as those enraged red eyes were focused on her, and she promptly took cover behind her older sister. Lunamaria was normally less intimidated by Shinn, but now the pilot wished she could hide behind Rey. Everyone admired the blonde for not being intimidated by anyone, including his short-fused roommate.

"A-Athrun-san," the began shakily again, "left already and with the prisoner."

Shinn felt all the blood drain from his face. "When?"

"Twenty minutes ago."

Once she thought it was safe, Meyrin peered over her sister's shoulder to glance at Shinn's retreating back. Not bothering to explain himself, the pilot of Impulse ran towards the exit ramp, leaving his group of friends confused. All except for ever silent blonde boy who had been standing at another doorway unnoticed. Eyeing the path his teammate had taken, Rey turned away and went in the opposite direction.

-----------------------------------

The elevator ride seemed endless to Kira who was anxious and doubtful despite his calm expression. As Athrun attempted to listen to Meer chatter endlessly over her latest concert, his mind was running through possible escape scenarios. Every five seconds, his eyes would occasionally dart to the button panel and his hand itched to mess with it.

_'Trust me.'_

Those had been his best friend's first words when the ZAFT soldier came to collect him, and Kira did trust him. Not the Chairman of they were going to meet very soon. Had it been Patrick Zala, Athrun's father, he wouldn't be feeling as nervous as he was now. There was no reason for him, an enemy pilot, to be granted immunity without a catch. Kira Yamato, might have been raised as an ordinary teenager; but he had relations with two threats to Dullindal: his dear friend who was the leader of the Clyne faction, and his twin sister, the monarch of ORB. There was no way he could betray their trust, no way he would allow the Chairman to manipulate him like others, Kira found himself glancing at the fake Lacus, into a pawn.

With that in mind, the ultimate coordinator steeled his nerves as the elevator chimed their floor. All conversation inside stopped, when steel doors opened, and they faced a wide door flanked by a pair of uniformed bodyguards, did Kira realize that there really was no turning back now.

Shrugging off the false idol from his arm, Athrun Zala stepped forward, announced their arrival and saluted the other soldiers who regarded him with expressions that were devoid of emotion. They moved to open the doors and allowed the trio to pass through. Kira stiffly kept in step with his friend as they entered, to what he expected would be the Gilbert Dullindal's office...

His calm facial expression was replaced with something close to bewilderment when he realized he had mistaken. He had expected it to be a meeting, much like the one he had with Captain Gladys not too long ago. In the center of the large room, there was a bed where a desk should have been. A king size poster bed that was adorned with rich red and gold brocade linens, with matching accent pillows that were piled high.

Instead of a room that looked like meticulous and pristine office that would belong to a Chairman, it was just a hotel suite. An elegant hotel suite that had a romantic atmosphere with it's dim lighting and candle-lit tables. At the right side of the wide room, sitting in an arm chair before a grand fire place, Dullindal smiled at his guests.

"Athrun-kun, it's been awhile. Thank you for escorting Mr.Yamato here."

Looking over at the other boy, Kira noted that he wasn't the only one who was stunned by their surroundings. Though Athrun quickly remembered to salute respectfully before presenting the prisoner. Dullindal's smiling face matched the room's warm and inviting glow. It seemed awkward to the prisoner, to be introduced as if he were at some formal gathering

"Ah, Kira Yamato," the Chairman stood, and walked towards him. "I've been looking forward to meet you."

Kira blinked and stared at the pale outstretched hand. Briefly he stared at the older man who only continued to smile at him. It seemed like a sincere and reassuring smile, that should be given to a close comrade and not a apprehensive prisoner. Seeing Athrun's obvious discomfort from the corner of his eye, Kira decided to play along.

"Chairman Dullindal," he spoke casually and shook his hand.

The older coordinator's smile widened a bit before he turned to glance at the songstress who blended in the background, standing meekly behind them. Kira had almost forgot that she was even there. It was perhaps the major differences between this girl, and the 'Lacus' he knew. The real Lacus Clyne radiated a serene confidence that captivated the attention of others before she even started speaking.

"Miss Lacus, Athrun-kun, would you please excuse us? I'm sure Miss Lacus has been eager to catch up with you."

"Eh?" Athrun was once again caught in yet another arm lock, and he stared at his superior with a torn expression on his face. "But Chairman," he began and lightly tried to tug back his trapped appendage.

"Not to worry, Captain Zala..." the brunet saw his friend tense as Dullindal used rank to remind Athrun that he was not in any position to argue. The older coordinator then patted Kira's shoulder good naturedly as his smiling face turned to his FAITH soldier who was trying hard not to defy his order.

"I have already granted Mr.Yamato immunity," Dullindal informed them all, "He is a guest here, and I would like take a few moments to get to know him."

Athrun was stunned, as was Kira, since both of them had expected for the Chairman to at least question the prisoner himself - listen to his side of the story - before making his decision and dismissing them.

Feeling the tug on his arm, Athrun tried to wrack his brain to think of a way to convince Dullindal to allow him to stay. When he couldn't come up with anything, he glanced over to his best friend and finally nodded. He turned, allowing Meer to lead him away. Kira would be free, and he didn't have to risk their lives to help him escape. He had to believe that Dullindal would keep his word, and he also needed to contact Yzak.

-----------------------------------

"Please, sit down."

After Watching the pair leave with the closing behind them, Kira decided to comply. He walked over to the sitting area in the room and sat down in one of the arm chairs that faced the fire place. From across the room, he heard Dullindal uncorking a bottle, and pouring it's contents into two glasses.

The whole situation reminded him of meeting Andrew Waldfeld in person, just in a much more elegant setting and hopefully without that paint-thinner like coffee. As his eyes wandered around the room, he saw no miniature replica of Evidence 01, or anything in the room that was not apart of the decor. Until he faced forward and saw a set chess board sitting on the coffee table. From the position of the pieces, there was already a game in session.

"Do you play?"

Turning his attention away from the chess board, Kira lifted his head a bit as the Chairman was now standing before him, holding two half filled glasses of red wine. He kindly accepted the offered one, but did not drink. Kira didn't need anything to dull his senses right now.

"No," he answered steadily, watching Dullindal take his seat again.

"A pity. May I call you Kira-'kun'?"

Kira didn't answer. If Gilbert Dullindal was uncomfortable by the brunet's scrutinizing stare, he hid it well. The man studied the depths of his beverage at eye level, before holding the glass by the bottom of the bowl where it meets the stem. Which was odd for Kira, even though he tend to order water during formal occasions, people normally held the glass by the stem to preserve the chill. So he couldn't help but watch as the Chairman move his hand around in a circular motion. The deep red liquid swirled and Kira watched transfixed, as Dullindal brought the glass closer to inhale.

Finally catching sight of those curious violet eyes, Dullindal let chuckled softly and lowered his glass.

"You've never seen this method before?"

The boy shook his head.

"You see, if a wine is too cold its flavors and aromas will be locked in and muted," Dullindal explained. "When it is brought to the proper temperature, the wine releases the ethers and esters that comprise its natural aroma."

Kira nodded in understanding, and felt like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. His throat feeling a littler dry, he decided to take a sip and maybe they could move onto another subject. Instead of following the Chairman's example, he continued to hold the glass by the stem and sipped...

It was bitter.

He suffered trying to swallow it down, before carefully placing the glass aside on an end table. _Blegh. _That was awful.

Dullindal laughed good naturedly, unperturbed by the slight scowl on the teen's face as he pushed the glass further away from him. "Perhaps you should try my method, Kira-kun, it'll be a far more pleasant experience."

The pilot of the Freedom stiffened, and remembered why he was here.

_'Your method. Your way?' _

"Chairman Dullindal?"

"Yes?"

Kira looked over and locked gazes with the other man who was casually sipping from his glass.

"What exactly do you want from me in exchange for this immunity?" he asked, not believing Dullindal would just pardon him out of the goodness of his heart, while he had most likely had given the order to shoot the Archangel down in the first place.

"Do you ever wonder about destiny, Kira-kun?"

Kira blinked, of all the things he expected Dullindal to say, he did not expect that. Was he serious? The Chairman looked at him expectantly for an answer and he had to actually think about how to answer for a second.

"No," he answered quickly, "I don't believe in the governing hand of fate. We make our life what it is, through the choices and decisions we make."

The older of the two looked amused as he finally set his glass down

"Or by the choices and decisions others make," Dullindal added. "Do you ever reminisce over all the choices you've made? The chain of events and unlikely situations which led you here, sitting before me. Do you have any regrets? What would you have done differently to prevent such a thing?"

The boy kept his expression neutral, but on the inside he was flabbergasted at the whole situation. Why was he being asked such questions? This whole civil conversation just seemed surreal, that he - a low ranking ORB officer - was having this conversation with one of the most powerful men in the world. If he was his sister, he would have told PLANT's chairman to skip over this useless chatter and get straight to the point already.

"There are some things I regret," Kira spoke flatly, not meeting Dullindal's eyes. All of his regrets had faces and names. A little girl who's name he had never known. One of his close friends, Tolle Koenig. Fllay Allster, the girl he thought he had loved and swear to protect. Mwu La Flagga, his senior officer whom he had admired. "Then there are things I wouldn't change, even if I had the power to do so."

Dullindal leaned forward in his seat, crossing one leg over the other and resting his hands on one knee. "Such as piloting the Strike Mobile Suit the first time during the attack on Heliopolis?"

"Yes."

Kira frowned to himself, not realizing the Chairman had this kind of information. What else did he know?

"Why? Why didn't you escape with your family and friends afterwards on board the Archangel? Why did you stay and fight?"

_'Are you a coordinator?' _

_'Why did you tell them that Kira was a coordinator, Fllay?! Who do you think we are fighting?'_

"Because..." he answered hesitantly, "because I was the only one who could do it." It sounded arrogant to his own ears but Dullindal nodded as if he understood.

"And you've successfully manage to change the subject," Kira said firmly as he too leaned forward in his seat, "Again, what is it that you want from me?"

Chuckling once more, Dullindal reached for his wine again. "What do you think I want from you, Kira-kun?"

"I don't know!" The teenager shrank back, wondering where that outburst had come from. "The Clyne Faction... Orb..."

"You're closely affiliated to them, I'm aware of that," the Chairman's voice was a velvet purr of knowing. "However, they're not the reason why I wanted to meet with you here."

"Then?" he prompted.

"As I told Athrun, I only wanted to get to know you better, Kira-kun."

"And, do you feel like you have?"

"Indeed," Dullindal's perpetual smile was starting to grate the teen's nerves for some reason, "I was also hoping, that you and I could be friends."

Kira was dumbfounded by the statement as he didn't know whether he wanted to flat out deny or accept in order to keep the Chairman from changing his mind about his immunity.

"It is a bit unfair, that you seem to know more about me than I, you."

Looking obviously pleased, Dullindal studied his empty glass. "What did you wish to know?"

He eyed the older man cautiously for a moment as he thought of Athrun's current companion at the moment. "Why is that girl pretending to be Lacus Clyne?"

-----------------------------------

As a former bodyguard to the young leader of Orb, Athrun thought he would have been used to being surrounded by the media by now. But that was when he was Alex Dino, who was only to be seen and not heard. How he missed those days, and Cagalli too of course. Even after leaving, Athrun worried about the blonde. He only prayed she was alive and well with everyone on Archangel and heading back to Orb.

He wasn't able to help them then, but he would try to help Kira now. Curiosity was eating him from the inside as he wondered what his best friend and the chairman were talking about now. If only Dullindal allowed him to stay, and why didn't he? Didn't the badge on the collar mean that he had his trust at all?

"Lacus-sama!"

He cringed, and stared down at the pink haired girl who continued to cling to his arm like a life line as she waved to the crowds of people in the hotel lobby that were chanting her false name. He did notice a few red coats enter the building when Meer released him to sign some autographs. With cameras flashing all around, Athrun had to squint to see his subordinates, Lunamaria and Rey had took one glance in his direction before trying to worm their way through the crowd and to the check in desk.

Mechanics Youlan and Vino, actually stopped and stared and then ran forward to join the line of those who wanted to take pictures with 'Lacus'. Meyrin looked indecisive on who to follow and...

The FAITH soldier paused and looked over to the door way again. Where was Shinn? Was he actually going to stay onboard Minerva the entire time they were docked here?

Sighing patiently, he walked over to the younger Hawke and smiled politely.

"Did you all have a hard time getting in?"

The pig-tailed CIC officer stared at him oddly for a second, before glancing over to the idol who was enjoying herself immensely being at the center of attention. Why would he leave someone like that to talk to her?

"Y-Yeah," she nodded, "there was a lot of traffic on the way over, so we had to get out and walk. But I guess that's understandable because Lacus-sama is here after all."

Which seemed weird to Athrun, because Meer had been staying in the hotel before the Minerva arrived, why was there so much commotion now? Pinching the bridge of his nose, as he heard her sing a long with some of her fans, he eyed the doors again. Half expecting the sulking pilot of the Impulse to walk through them.

"Ah, and I guess Shinn decided to stay behind then."

"Huh? You mean you haven't seen him yet, Athrun-san?"

Shaking his head, Meyrin went on.

"He got off the ship after he heard that you and the prisoner had left..." she tilted her head to the side as if to consider something, "maybe he checked in already, or he probably got held back outside too. But I thought he went to go see you, he was really upset, but more than usual."

Athrun swallowed a lump in his throat, as his uneasiness steadily began to increase.

"I see."

"Meyrin!" Lunamaria called to her sister from the front desk. "I'm going up without you!"

"Ah! Excuse me, Athrun-san!" she stuttered and saluted quickly before running off to join her sister. "Oneechan, wait!"

Watching the two rushing to catch an elevator, Athrun watched as the crowd thinned a little bit and was about to start looking for Shinn when he felt that familiar tug on his arm.

"What?" he almost hissed to the songstress again, who was now playfully tugged him back to her side. When did he agree to all of this anyway? "What is it now?"

"Athrun, the Chairman booked dinner reservations for tonight at the Hotel's restaurant."

Dinner again? Was this just for the sake of appearance? Or was Dullindal trying to keep him occupied?

"Lacus-sama," one of the reporters called out, "could we have a picture of you and your fiancé together?"

Athrun nearly choked out loud, but composed himself quickly. He stood rigidly as Meet leaned against them as more pictures were taken to be printed in entertainment magazines all around in PLANT. When would this farce be over?

"Will the Chairman himself be attending?"

"I think so," she said in a tone that sounded as if she didn't seem to know nor care, "but let's go wait together. Okay?"

Like he had a choice.

-----------------------------------

Kira found himself holding the glass of wine he had sent down while listening to the chairman explain why it was necessary to have a Lacus impersonator. He understood that her presence alone was calming people down during dark times like these, and that he did what he felt was best for the people of PLANT and world even if it was deception. What you don't know, can't hurt you? He would have scoffed out loud, if scoffing were in his nature.

"I would appreciate it if this stayed between us, Kira-kun," Dullindal concluded as he stood up from his chair. He then walked over to collect the still half-filled glass that Kira hadn't drank from since his first sip.

Was this the end of their meeting? Was the secrecy over the fake Lacus really what the Chairman wanted from him? Kira doubted it as he also got to his feet. If this was all Dullindal wanted, then he was ready to go.

"Fine, I won't say anything about it to anyone."

Yes he felt guilty, though he wasn't going to betray the real Lacus in anyway by addressing the fake one. Dullindal may have the public eating from the palm of his hand now, but this would blow up in his face sooner or later.

"Thank you," Dullindal began, handling the other's glass in the same manner he had his own when it was full. "I know you're eager to return to Orb, and I'll personally arrange your transport myself."

He offered the glass back and the brunet found himself taking it eagerly. His throat feeling dry, he decided to give the wine another chance in order to soothe it. His eye lashes fluttered as the alcohol did just that and it didn't taste as bitter. In fact, it was almost...sweet.

While finish his drink, Kira waited, sensing more that the Chairman wanted to say. The catch, he thought. There had to be a 'however', 'but', or 'only' involved.

"I hope you don't mind waiting a bit longer, though," Dullindal stunned him again. Amber eyes seemed to smirk at him when he tried to stifle his surprise. "There is more I'd like to talk to you about."

Kira didn't know if he was in the mood for conversation, the room despite it's size was starting to feel a little claustrophobic. It was also starting to get too hot. The wine was warming up his blood from the inside, as the fire warmed him from the outside. He had to wonder how Gilbert Dullindal wasn't all uncomfortable being fully dressed and wearing a long coat.

"Though it appears that you don't feel like listening to me prattle on anymore," Dullindal laughed richly as he reached out to steady the swaying youth. "That's quite all right," he purred, "there is always tomorrow."

(A/N Insert the bonus scene for adultfan)

-----------------------------------

"Ara, it looks like the Chairman will be arriving a little late," Meer said conversationally as she looked over her menu again. "I don't think he would mind if we ordered some appetizers without him. Oh, this looks good..."

Athrun found it impossible to listen to her read through the options as he kept thinking about their meeting. What could they be talking about? Why was it taking so long? Was Kira being interrogated for information without him even knowing it?

No, that wouldn't happen. The Chairman wasn't at all like the last one. Like his own father who had turned him over to interrogators to get the location of the Justice and Freedom mobile suits by any means necessary. Even if he hadn't been saved, he would have never said anything. He would never want to hurt Kira again.

After all the trauma the went through, facing each other on the different sides of the battlefield - they finally manage to reconcile. At last, he and Kira had fought side by side together until the war came to an end two years ago. Now they had nothing to fight with. Both their proud mobile suits were destroyed beyond repair.

Justice and Freedom.

_'How?' _he wondered while he brought his hands up to cradle his forehead. _'How could I leave him alone? I should have argued. I should have stayed!'_

"Athrun?" he distantly heard Meer's voice. "Are you all right?"

From where they sat in the hotel's restaurant, a secluded table near the wall like windows, he watched as the raindrops began to patter gently against the glass.

Kira was right after all.

-----------------------------------

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **::Bangs head on desk:: So, um yeah, Shinn is rather absent in this chapter. I had such a hard time writing Gil and Kira's meeting. I'm not even sure it makes any sense. Argh. Anyway, this chapter has a bonus scene that I will post on my adultfan account later this week. It's a Gil/Kira pwp (poorly written porn) scene that has little to nothing to do with a story. Just a bonus to Gil/Kira fans. All two of you?


	9. Side Story: First Meeting

**Title: Pillow Talk****  
Author: Teno Hikari****Fandom: Gundam Seed Destiny  
Pairing: Kira Yamato / Shinn Asuka**

**Side Story: First Meeting**

* * *

Two years ago, death had robbed Shinn of his family when Orb had been attacked. When he enlisted in ZAFT, he had vowed never to let anyone get so close to him again, not even his friends at the academy who later became his fellow crew mates on The Minerva. The teen didn't mind if pushing people away would make him a loner, it was better not to have anything to lose.

He had been content with the soldier life style. Shinn took pride of his Ace pilot status, and although they weren't very close, he had friends who admired him. So other than to move up in rank in ZAFT's military, he neither needed nor wanted anything more.

One day had lead to a change that would send his isolated world spinning out of orbit. It was the day the armory had been attacked on PLANT and the theft of three stolen mobile suits, the same day he met Athrun Zala and that Atha woman. It was these events that landed him back in that God forsaken country where his family died for two long weeks. He decided to pay a visit to the sea side memorial for the first (and last) time before eagerly putting it all behind him. Unfortunately, he wouldn't be the only one there that afternoon.

When a mechanical chirp brought him out of his mourning, Shinn had looked up to see a lone figure dressed in black, standing at the memorial site. He should have run away, mortified to be crying in public. There just wasn't enough time, not when the other mourner turned, and held Shinn down under a violet gaze.

Although they stood a few feet apart, the distance did not prevent him from seeing his grief mirrored on the brunet's handsome face. The other teen hadn't been crying like him, but those violet eyes just looked exhausted, as if they had no more tears left to shed.

They continued to stare at one another for what seemed like an eternity until the brunet broke the silence. An awkward conversation about flowers came up and Shinn could have walked away at any time, but didn't – at least not until a girl who looked like Lacus Clyne had interrupted. He bowed and left, wanting to put as much distance between him and the memorial site as possible, but had an odd feeling that those eyes were still on him.

_~*~_

The nights in Orb were hard, even on the ship. Whenever Shinn would attempt to lay down and sleep, the faces of his parents and little sister came back to haunt him. It could have been dreams of them still living or worse, the moment of their death. Either dream had Shinn up, sobbing quietly into a pillow soaked with his tears.

He couldn't stay on the ship anymore. Rey never said anything, but he knew the sudden outbursts and sobbing was probably getting on his roommate's nerves. So whenever insomnia struck, he would leave and find himself back at the memorial site. Only there, in the middle of the cold night, he could vent out as much as he wanted in privacy and return before sunrise. This routine continued for days, until one night, his body couldn't take any more and he ended up sleeping on the cold concrete with the harsh sea breeze chilling him to the bone.

Upon waking, he could hear the gentle crashing of waves from an open window where pale sun light filtered in through semi-transparent curtains. As he forced himself to sit up, Shinn took a few moments to collect his thoughts before he realized he was in someone's home, curled up in a stranger's bedding and even wearing their clothes.

"Good morning," a soft masculine voice called from the door way.

Shinn found himself assaulted by those familiar yet strange purple orbs once more as they regarded him. He continued to stare, as the other teenager entered, carrying a tray with contents that made his stomach growl hunger. The brunet sat the tray down before him and then sat down at the foot of the bed.

"Did you sleep well?"

He croaked in response, before swallowing and nodding his head, staring down at the meal laid out before him. Shinn couldn't believe that a complete stranger had gone through such lengths to help him. He began to eat to appease his hunger and buy enough time to think of some kind of explanation.

The hospitable stranger didn't ask for one though, as if rescuing some mentally disturbed homeless teens in ungodly hours of the night was something he did all the time. Shinn ate quietly and listened as the older boy talked about little things like the weather forecast when he informed Shinn that he was at the beach home retreat for an orphanage.

"You can rest quietly now. The others have gone camping and won't be back until the end of the week. It'll be a lot of fun for them."

Something occurred to Shinn as he listened to the stranger talk about campsite activity and asked the question that was on his mind without thinking. "Why didn't you go with them?"

He regretted his words the moment he saw the brunet stiffen and was about to apologize when the other boy just sighed and smiled tiredly.

"I'm sort of a kill joy to them."

_~*~_

They spent the first afternoon, sitting on the porch and staring at the ocean. Although they traded a few brief words every once and awhile, Shinn didn't feel as alone as he normally did being surrounded by his crew mates. It was nice, and he felt at peace just watching the waves roll upon the shore line. He could understand how someone could get lost in thought and just sit there for hours upon end.

"My name is Kira," the brunet told him after a long silence, "Kira Yamato."

The garnet-eyed boy blinked in surprise as he tore his gaze from the sea towards the other who continued to stare at it. Shinn wondered if he was just waiting patiently for him to volunteer information if he wanted. For some reason he wanted to test Kira's patience, to see if he'd break down with all sorts of questions like the others did before he gave them the cold shoulder. But as the silence dragged on, he realized that Kira just didn't want to say anything, it was as if he had his own battles to fight.

The sun was beginning to set in the horizon, bathing the land in its hellish fiery glow, yet for some reason the previous nightmares hadn't assaulted him. Kira got up and disappeared for a short time and returned when most of the sun had disappeared, carrying a tray of sandwiches – cut into wedges – and a pitcher of ice tea with two glasses.

"Th-thanks," he manages to utter out before quickly sinking his teeth in, piercing a tomato which almost spills out between the bread. He hastily wipes in clean and hides a groan to see that he's got a few spots on his borrowed shirt. "S-Sorry."

Kira only smiles as he chews slowly. "No worries. I live with children, so we have a ton of stain- remover."

They ate in silence, watching the stars come out to light up the evening sky. Out door dinner picnics with his family came back to him, and he remembered eating under a sky filled with stars until it was illuminated by fire works. Mayu would gasp and excitement as she curled up tighter in one of their blankets. As her older brother, he would hold her close and they would fall asleep together until their parents work them up when it was time to go home.

Shinn wasn't aware that he was shaking, didn't hear the sound of the ice cubes in his glass rattling, until he felt warm fingers gently still his hand. Startled, he dropped the glass and expected to hear it shatter into hundreds of tiny pieces. Unexpectedly, Kira had caught it with his free hand without even looking away from him.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, setting the glass down.

Shin's pale lips trembled, almost ready to break down, and spill out his entire past right there and then. But he didn't. He wouldn't inconvenience Kira like that.

"I-I have to get going."

He was on his feet on an instant, ready to bolt, but a strong grip on his shoulder caused him from running straight into the sea. Kira turned him around, but didn't say anything when he saw a few tears escape his eyes. Instead, he handed him a clean napkin while digging into his pants pocket, fishing out his car keys.

"Are you heading to the city? At least let me drive you."

Shinn didn't trust his voice to argue, only nodded. After all, he didn't exactly know where he was at other than near the shore. He could probably call Vino or Youlan up for a ride back to the ship. He would have to return to the memorial site and get his rented car the following day.

He dressed quickly in his own clothes (that had been washed, dried, and folded nearly for him) and hurried down to meet Kira sitting in the driver's seat of an SUV he vaguely remembered seeing in an advertisement – one that hadn't even been released to the public yet.

"Nice ride," Shinn commented as he strapped himself in.

Kira flushed a little in embarrassment. "It's actually my sister's. She has all the connections and lets me borrow it from time to time when I'm here in Orb. It's her way of telling me to get out of the house and stop brooding."

"Your sister sounds awesome."

"She thinks she is."

Shinn actually cracked a smile as Kira drove them – and nearly breaking the speed limit – towards the city. The brunette attempted to hum a Lacus Clyne song and without thinking, Shinn switched on the radio. He was about to apologize and switch it off, when the other boy only chuckled in amusement and told him it was all right.

He hadn't even been listening to the music as his mind replayed the scene from seconds ago. Kira looked good when he smiled, looked even better when he laughed. Shinn suddenly wondered when he started thinking that way about someone of the same gender.

_~*~_

"Want me to wait with you until your ride shows up?"

Shinn shook his head as he climbed out of the vehicle. "No, it's all right. I called a friend up, and they happened to be close by… but thank you, for everything, Kira-san."

The older boy nodded his head and began to write something down on a slip of paper before offering it to him. To Shinn's surprise it was a pair of phone numbers. One had an Orb area code and a cell phone number.

"It's just Kira. Call me, if you plan on spending the night at the Memorial again. I'll come and get you before you get sick."

He frowned, but pocketed the number and closes the door, which had its window rolled down. "Coordinators don't get common colds…" Shinn instantly regretted the words as he spoke them. This wasn't PLANT after all. What if Kira was a Natural? What if Kira was a Natural who hated Coordinators?

Kira's stared in surprise but only a small smile tugged at his lips. "Perhaps, but we still get sick."

'_We?_' Shinn mouthed, eyes becoming wide as saucers. 'Kira was also…?' He then recalled Kira's quick reflexes when he caught the glass in a blink of an eye. Would a Natural be able to do that?

"Take care of yourself, then."

"W-Wait!"

Kira was startled by the outburst but leaned forward as the younger boy began to stutter something incoherent. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Sure it was a little late for the introductions but better late than never.

"Shinn," the boy managed to say finally. "My name is Shinn Asuka."

The smile on the brunet's face only widened and it made him melt. "I'll see you around then, Shinn."

"Y-Yeah."

He watched as the SUV vanished from sigh before retrieving the piece of paper again, Shinn took a minute to memorize the numbers, before folding it nearly into a square and then tucking it securely into his sister's folded cell phone.

Another week in Orb didn't seem so bad after all.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**I know I'm really, really, really late with the whole updating. I've had a half-finished draft of Chapter 8 on my old computer but haven't had time to retrieve it. I surprised myself by writing this little ficlet after watching the English version of Final Plus a couple hours ago …which was just weird. I never watched Gundam Seed in English and so I wasn't used to Matt Hill as Kira, and Shinn just sounded too old for sixteen. Ah well. **

**There will probably be a few more side stories until I start posting new chapters, and figure out if I want to continue with my original planned ending or not.**


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